Well after I have pretty much disappointed, offended and damn near scarred so many folks with my 10 worst movies ever made. I decided that after seeing a challenge, that I would do the 80's teen flick challenge. 100 movies from the 80's that were out and I have to say if I seen them and if so what I think of them. Well that will be quite a stretch there. I don't know how or if I can take it. The cynical points will be made with my own flavor and goodies for you all.
1.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Ben Stein makes it watchable. Ben Stein rocks!!!!
2.
The Breakfast Club - One of my secret, guilty pleasure movies. I will admit it. Me likes it.
3. Some Kind of Wonderful - Too bad this wasn't it. Wonderfully bad.
4. Pretty in Pink - Ugly on screen!
5. Secret Admirer - Should have stayed a secret and not told anyone about it.
6. The Karate Kid - Suck on! Suck off! Movie blows Daniel-san.
7. Three O'Clock High - You need to be high from 3 to 4:20.
8 Summer School - Failed the grade.
9. Valley Girl - They grew up to become surgeon wives and semi-retired hookers. Great career move
10.Fast Times At Ridgemont High - Fast into the brick wall this should go.
11. Losin' It - Lost it! And I will never get the time I wasted back.
12.Revenge of the Nerds - Booger For The Win!!!Good movie here.
13.The Rachel Papers - Which I couldn't read because there was no comics section.
14.Sixteen Candles - And it wasn't enough to burn this picture to the ground!
15.Weird Science - Oh let me use my computer to create a woman. *insert evil plans here* And Kelly Lebrock was hot!
16.Zapped! - And didn't die! Zap it again!
17.Say Anything - This movie sucks!!!!! There I said it!
18.Better off Dead - I want my $2!!! In today's economy that would probably be $.42.I don't know why but I like this movie.
19.One Crazy Summer - I think that John Cusack probably had a monopoly in cheesy movies. Damnit man give someone else a job here.
20.St. Elmo's Fire - The roof...the roof...the roof is on fire....someone put this movie on top of it and let the ......burn.......
21.Teen Wolf - Better love story than Twilight (yes I went there)
22.Footloose - And fancy free. And folks still can't dance worth a crap.
23.Can't buy me Love - Apparently you not paying enough.But for 20 dollar she make you holla. And love you long time.
24.The Outsiders - Should been one of the insiders.
25.Heathers - Heathens!
26.Lucas - Can't say I like it, can't say I hate it. Yet, this is one movie that I can understand and relate too.
27.Just One of the Guys - I'm shocked there isn't a porn parody of this yet. They make every other parody of it. May as well with this..it almost writes itself.
28.Teen Witch - The mediocrity had many folks spellbound. In why was it made. Avadar Kadavra!
29.Porky's - 2 words.....FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!! One of my top 10 favorite movies ever! Can't go wrong with a classic like this. Watch it..love it! Watch it again!! Nuff said!
30.Private Resort - It has Johnny Depp and not directed by Tim Burton, what is wrong with this picture? Oh yeah it's crap! So maybe it was directed by Tim Burton.
31.The Sure Thing - If you betting on it being that, then you lost. If you were betting this is yet another John Cusack movie, then you hit the lottery. My goodness..he should be in the Guinness.
32.Private School - One dude gets to be in a private school with horny girls. I think this has Dear Penthouse Forum written all over it. Bow chicka bow wow!
33.The Last American Virgin - Must be talking about Bad Luck Brian or something. Well here is the spoiler for you all...he gets laid.
34.The Wild Life - pretty tame, pretty dull, pretty boring. Pretty much a typical 80's teen movie.
35.Ski School - You won't see any minorities out there. Seeing black folks ski?? Nope unless you see them heading down the slopes with church shoes on. Don't even need skis.
36.Hot Dog...The Movie- My life as a Oscar Mayer wiener. Cook yourself!
37.Risky Business - We going to play a high school pimp with a good harem of women selling themselves while you get to shag the best one for free. Put her ass to work...
38.License to Drive - It has the Corey's. It has a Mercedes. It has me wanna change the channel!
39.The Lost Boys - A movie where you don't have vampires all sparkle and shit. And it has the Corey's.
40.Dream a Little Dream - For the sake of all things green and holy...did the Corey's just bumrush the Cusack regime and take over all the movies in Hollywood? Enough with you. I can dream of no more movies with those two. But I will say, the must got all kinds of teen tang...
41.Once Bitten - Twice shy...three times boring!
42.Hot Pursuit - The quest to take over the top movie spot by Mr. Cusack. I think there is a car chase scene down the streets of San Francisco too.
43.Soul Man - he has none.
44.Grandview U.S.A. - one I can say I never scene. I'll let you all be the judge of that. Pass.
45.Red Dawn - Being at the time one of the movie violent movies ever made and more gunshots fired than most wars, noone puts the Swayz in the corner....not without an AK-47.
46.Oxford Blues - and folks in the U.S. wonder why England hates us...we make crappy movies in their country. Bad show!
47.Like Father, Like Son - bad movies are hereditary. It runs in the family.
48.All the Right Movies - That leave some nut job into Scientology. There is where it all started.
49. Class - it has none. Epic fail!
50.Fraternity Vacation - The Sorority of I Felta Thigh were being molested allot here. I think there was some hazing too. Who knows.
Whew...we half way there. Still with me. Good. Let's carry on. (how many have you seen on this list?)
51.A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon - This has porn movie written all over it. I ain't even going to touch it. Not without washing my hands and wearing gloves. This can get nasty.
52.Loverboy - This ain't the band we talking about (and they do have some good songs mind you) just shows you how sappiness can win you something. What I have no damn clue.
53.Thrashin' - Skateboarders need love too...
54.Rad - BMX bike riders need love more...and better scripts and better acting and let's face it needs more than a few boards and a ramp can fix.
55.Pump Up the Volume - Dance!! Dance! Oh sorry...was thinking it was the video here. If you haven't heard it. Youtube it and prepare to get your dance on. Trust me you will...
56.The Night Before - And you can start out the story with these 5 words: See what had happen was...and it will end with "can you ease up on the handcuffs, Mr. Officer?"
57.Vison Quest - You must take the ring to Mordor...oh sorry wrong quest...I think this was a quest to find something lame and it succeeded before the end of the opening credits.
58. Back to School - It has Rodney Dangerfield (RIP) It has Sam Kinison (RIP). It has Oingo Boingo. What about this movie don't just scream kick ass!!!!?? Love it!
59.Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - I had better adventures watching paint try. Neo...you suck!
60.The Flamingo Kid - I won't even go there...
61.Midnight Madness - A crazy scavenger hunt gone very wrong. I think they should had tried to find some talent in this movie. That would been the good hunt. The music send you right to a roller rink.
62.Youngblood - You would think this be a gang movie in South Central L.A. but nope. It's Swayze fresh from Red Dawn and dancing dirty. He gets around don't he.
63.Johnny Be Good - too bad the movie was not.
64.River's Edge - And they could not drown the cast in it. Grumpy cat is furious and so am I!
65.Permanent Record - Being convicted for crimes against cinema. Guilty as charged.
66.My Bodyguard - I think Kevin Costner started out in this before he became The Bodyguard. And it still sucked. Need to hire folks who can beat up the cast and crew to make better movies.
I am starting to think that most 80's movies just flat out blew chunks.
67.How I got into College - Sure wasn't on a scholarship. Still knee-deep in debt.
68.The Monster Squad - Should had ate them all and put everyone out their misery.
69.Revenge of the Nerds II - Very disappointing. Very sad. Very sucky! Le' Sigh!
70.Porky's II The Next Day - Wasn't as raunchy as the first, but still pretty entertaining.
71.Real Genius - And another guilty pleasure movie. Will say it's one of those things that I wanna go to an all science school with science nerds. Ahhh to dream.
72.Wargames - Where hacking goes wrong. Global Therma Nuclear War. Blow'em up. Blow up Seattle. No Starbucks, No Grunge, No Plaid Shirts! YES!!!!
73.My Science Project - To create something that will speed time to the end of this movie. Or go back in time and burn this so it never hits the theaters and call it a public service.
74.Breaking all the Rules - If you going to be a rebel..at least rebel...at least have some goal other than put one to sleep. Zzzzzzzzz
75.Adventures in Babysitting - CPS should been called on this one. Cinematic Protection Services
76.Hiding Out - And noone should tried to find this movie. Stay hidden!
77.Times Square - Never seen it so - I'll have to pass on this one.
78.Morgan Stewart's Coming Home - And everyone should had moved and left no forwarding address.
79.She's Out of Control - I know a few women like that. Some are good others...well not so much!
80.Girls Just Want to have Fun - And in many ways it leaves them out of control. Handcuffs and spankings are needed. But some of them may like it.
81.Don't Tell Mom, the BabySitter is Dead - Even the sexiness of Christina Applegate can't save this movie. Nor did it save the babysitter. Poor old lady. Least she died peacefully and didn't suffer watching this.
82.Nobody's Perfect - And this movie proves it.
83.Tuff Turf -You went into the wrong movie &^@#*@##^&!+(@
84.The Karate Kid Part II - You still suck worse in this one Daniel-san!
85.The Hollywood Knights - Can't save this damsel in distress. Let it die!
86.High School U.S.A. - Take 3 child stars (Different Strokes, Family Ties and Facts of Life) and what do you get. An NBC movie that should never been made and cancelled on the cutting room floor. Whatchu talkin bout Willis?? You suck!
87.Poison Ivy - No not that one about the potential Lolitaish style killer oooh no. This is Michael J. Fox needing something to do between Teen Wolf and Back to the Future. Be poison ivy....yeah that's a hit!
88.18 Again - Oh George Burns! How you make good one liners. Too bad the lines in this were bad. But, I still loves your work anyway.
89.The Last Starfighter - And noone can shoot you down...damn where is the Empire when you need it??
90.Making the Grade - Well you got the grade of F- or T for terrible.
91 - 100...let's just say that those are so bad so horrid and so damn pathetic that even I can't write any more without wanting to gouge my eyes out. Just let it be said that it sums up that most of those movies were bad bad bad bad bad..with a few good, and even excellent exceptions. Now. I'll pop in Porky's and have a good laugh.
SAW
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