I know many kind of wonder what is the meaning behind this quote. And yes it's made by me. I doubt that it will ever be remembered for the sake of history as a quotation of worth. However, for me, it means allot. How so you may ask? Guess, that is what this entry is about.
Over the last few months, I have seen many people who I known for years, some not so much go through several changes that for the most part prove extremely positive. I won't go into many semantics with it, but to sum it up, I'm quite happy for them. Many had to fight battles that I don't know if I had the strength or capacity to endure - yet I know many of those same individuals would never be able to carry what I had either. Yet, this is not a contest of such. There plenty of doors we enter in life; such that leads to opportunities, growth, success and the like. The saying that when one door closes another opens. But, I think that includes people as well. Sometimes, many must move back or leave or be left behind for others to move forward. This isn't always a negative thing. Granted, some can be attributed to drama, arguments and the like. However, there are cases when you are meant for a finite period. Do what was necessary or fulfill a purpose and move on. There also just rare moments, you are only there to witness others become what they are destined to be and that's it.
But, then there those few who are just there to close the doors others enter and go the other way while others go forward. If for any reason than to ensure those who have improved their own selves not regress back. For myself, I been such a doorman. I feel for a long time just a person to bare witness for many others or to be just that one person to point in the direction of success, greatness, happiness, etc and then close the door behind them. In doing so, I have kind of been fading out of lives. Like the moments between dreams and consciousness. Over time to be a memory and then nothing. Many times not even a goodbye is needed or necessary. For many years, I have left behind many people and never as much gave as much as a wave,a handshake or even words, "So long." I never really knew why but I guess, it was easier to be forgotten this way. From those at home, to my time in Houston, then Hattiesburg, to Irving and even now. It just makes it easier to server those ties that bind me here. Some are harder than others I will admit. Other times, it's as simple as turning around and going the other direction.
Now, for those who have found whatever they wanted or wished for, it's time for me to take my leave and back away. Maybe it's selfish of me to be so, many say why not be part of it and have it shared. Honestly, that never been me. Granted it's their choice to do so, yet it's my choice to politely refuse, or just not be there to do it. As I said, it can be selfish but sometimes in life, we have to be. While I know the core people will still be there, mostly my family, there others that it won't be as difficult to slip away. I did what I was meant to do and now time to be a the one to close the door behind those who are moving on.
And what of me? What is next for me, that is a question that really has no answer for I don't know. I go where the winds blow and walk till fate, chance, whim or whatever brings me to someone else and start over again. Looking at names, numbers - so easy to delete and walk on, and many more would never notice you not there. Yet happy to know that they are where you don't have to be thought of to begin with. So those who have walked though that door, do not worry, I will close it behind you.
SAW
