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Thursday, August 16, 2012

This is NO laughing matter...


I just had to share this with my people.

I heard that there is an epidemic that must be addressed. First from Dr. Oz and then from some crazy cults that it is absolutely appropriate to...ok breathe...breathe...that is it absolutely appropriate to laugh during those times of pure intimacy. To start laughing during those times in the bedroom. To put it bluntly - laugh during sex.

 Seriously, did I miss this memo? Was there some secret convention in some hidden underground lair in some vast city and I missed it? Since when - let me repeat SINCE WHEN!!!!!! has it been OK to laugh during sex? There are 2 and only 2 instances that it is allowed to laugh during sex.

1. Somehow the bed collapses in the middle and you are so shocked form the effort that you can't help but laugh. And even that is at the discretion of the person and situation on hand.

2. You role playing and one or both of you are dressed as a clown. And you getting banged out by Bozo, Pennywise, Homey the Clown, The Joker, then laugh.

I'm sorry, but this ain't a comedy show. This is some serious business and I don't give a damn about comfort or being relaxed enough to laugh it up. This is serious business. Folks are doing natural grown business and this is no laughing matter. Afterwards if you wanna laugh...well Benny HA HA HA all you want but during the episode, you better not laugh - think of laughing or try to laugh.

But really who in the hell going to just laugh. Oh yeah oooh yah yeah yea...HA HA HA HA HA HA! Sorry, laughing is pretty much a instant mood-killer. I don't give a damn if you got the best of Teddy Pendergrass and Marvin Gaye playing during a thunderstorm, on a bed of roses, with candle-lights burning. And things are getting hot and heavy and serious work is being put in and thangs are getting hotter than a South Texas heatwave. And out of the blue...it looks like you at the Improv! And there is some laughter.

And what do you say to this...





And no damn way...let me say this one more time. NO DAMN WAY YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO LAUGH!

Be going from "Let's get it on..." to "You better get the hell on..." in less than 3.4322 seconds.

I don't care what Comsmo, Dr. Oz, Dr. Ruth, The View, The Oprah Cult, or those folks at the Debutante Pancake Social says, if you get anything that resembles a

you will be getting an all expense paid trip out the door. Laugh during sexytime I swear...








And I mean that shit for real...HA HA!!!

SAW




Wednesday, August 1, 2012

If you want to make dollars, try making sense.

I been reading all this controversy with chik-fil-a or I would like to call it the overpriced KFC - in regards of its stance regarding homosexual marriage, and the massive divides this cause. I am a full advocate of free speech and the first amendment. And I respect both sides of this firestorm. And here is my stance of things: first I don't know if the CEO of chik-fil-a understand the first concept of business is you really don't want to piss off customers. You may be a company based on Christian principles but look at your wording - COMPANY. Companies make money, private or public company. You can have all the religious principles all you want and stand by your beliefs, but a bankrupt company. You can have all the supporters and days of support all you want, the negative publicity and backlash is already hurting business. No matter what people say about boycotts do not make a difference - they do. But I do ask yourself this question to those who stand behind the moral high ground saying that a company has every right to speak your mind. I have nothing wrong with that. As an American citizen, you have a right. But as a businessperson, you have to think what is the first and foremost reason to make any business? MAKE MONEY. I know some say money isn't everything, well you can just make chik-fil-a a free service or something like that and let's see how long that last. However, let me ask you this question, if this company has such a stance on this, where you think they will draw the line? What if they had a hardline stance against interracial marriage? They will find some religious verse to justify it. Believe me someone will find it somewhere.

And before I go on, you may as well know the next few lines of this will be extremely offensive. SO if you have a closed mind, easily offended, or extra judgmental please hit that X button to the right of your browser............THANK YOU!

And for all those hardline religious zealots that like to denounce others, fighting about the sanity of marriage. I have to ask yourself what is the sanity/sanctity of marriage? The traditional union of man and woman. Give me a break. I'm like this, you don't need any legal document to show marriage to anyone. Most of those marriage are built on stronger foundations than the traditional marriages. You can claim marriage in one's heart and no one can take that away. Makes you wonder just wonder do we ever learn the lessons of the past? Some say that integration was the End of America. Change the concept of race to sexual orientation and you have the new war. Fifty years later you think that we have progressed, take one step and take a jump back. Shake my head.

I hear so many people call other people abomination and their wanting to have something as simple as marriage abomination - and quote the bible as such. Funny there many homosexuals who are religious, go to church, pay tithes for the building fund. So why would you call someone who has a religious foundation as you, go to the same church as you and pray to the same God an abomination. How much of a hypocrite can you be.

And before you throw out the Bible verses you defend and whatnot, let me ask you this? (Get ready to be pissed off biblethumpers) You think the Bible you reading is the real BIBLE? Let's break it down shall we? The Bible has been edited, mistranslated, and rewritten. First by the Council of Nicea (which was a MANMADE council commissioned by man - not the divine, and who purpose was to solve everything from what is put into the Bible to the birth of Jesus (sorry to disappoint many people but December 25th was a date that was picked by the Council) Merry Christmas. Many of the books of the Old Testament were edited, many of the Gospels were lost because they were too controversial.

Next we can thanks King James for many errors and booboos...many more lost tales and parables. Most were just a big ad-lib to satisfy the needs of man, not the divine.

So before someone sends the Inquisition and have me burned at the stake for heresy and blasphemy. I just bring facts - the most dangerous weapon for ignorance is the truth. I don't carry a specific religion, I believe in a higher power, but religion is a man-made concept.

Ok those who still here and not ready to storm the gates - I know this is a hotly contested thing and there is no right or wrong. I respect the speech of everyone. And as a business you have a right to go there or not go there. Just as a business you have to think about your bottom line unless you don't care but know this those who annoy or customers - people will walk away. And in the end you may not only be closed on Sunday, but Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and you know the rest. Don't believe me. It only takes one person to make a movement start, one stone to start a avalanche.

Saw.
 

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