Sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is put on a smile of happiness for others in our lives. Whether it's for a monumental achievement or some personal, positive outcome of something. However, how difficult is it to smile for the world when inside there is such a conflict in ourselves? How hard can it be to really be happy for others when we ourselves are not happy. Surly, we can put on a false face and show support for our friends and loved ones. It's the simplest thing we can do, but where is the sincerity? The genuine, heartfelt joys that are returned for the good cheer and news others are willing to share with us?
As humans, we have an inert ability to constantly evaluate our own success and happiness based on others. It is unwitting bar that everyone puts to weigh our own merits for our own personal satisfaction. It is as essential as breathing, yet something that no matter how much we tend to ignore, it lingers like a bad cold sore.
Is it that most people tend to show and share success as a subconscious form of gloating? Something that we don't even notice or acknowledge? Or can it be that it's a deliberate prodding of their joys like a sinister trophy to put themselves on a pedestal of good mirth and make others feel unhappy. Who knows.
However, what about those who are not feeling so happy and proud? It is easy to share a smile and say I am happy and glad for them? Especially when there is no good joys or cheers in our own lives. How hard is it to be happy for others when in our own core being we are not happy within ourselves? Pretend - fake - down right force ourselves to give ourselves a bit of joy. A false complement and share a joy and things get better.
In short how does this wake others feel. Can we make others happy for good news when they in turn make ourselves feel low. Suck up our pride and push on? Sometimes it's easier said than done. So we just suck up our hurts of our own lives and pretend. Share a smile but in ourselves shed a tear.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Sometimes you must ask yourself...
are you FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I ask myself that in how some people can just have a notion of asking for so many things or begging to have such attention bestowed upon them or win some sort of contest to up some status. I sometimes have to look and laugh at so many people. As much as I (in my own sadistic, evil way, enjoy a good bit of begging), even I have to ask myself are you that hard up and desperate to have ever twenty minutes asking for some sort of social gratification and expansion. I kind of have to laugh and think if you can do it maybe once a day or something, that is fine and good. But if you do it with every waking moment, do you honestly think that you will get what you asking for. I was always raised to believe that begging constantly gets you anything and if you do somewhat receive it, do you really, truly appreciate it that you earned it on your own merits or was it the result of nagging like a drug-induced billy goat.Naaaaaaaaaag! Sometimes I wonder do most people do it just to have some individuals shut the hell up! Maybe that is it.
However, it just behooves me to think that some people have to drop to such methods. And when some people fall into that web, do those individuals show any gratitude? Any amount of sincere thanks for accommodating to their request? Hell no! And if they do it is soooooo generalized and so insincere that it makes some people go do nothing of the sort again or make sure someone else wins or receives your support just out of spite. Believe me, as a villain, I have do that on more than one occasion. Most of the time, I just sit and watch and see how many people fall below the waves of disappointment and find a small sense of humility. However, that is almost like trying to find a fart in a jacuzzi.
I know this will probably piss off plenty of folks but those who do understand me and can relate, they will probably agree with me and even call some folks out about it. But, they will probably get labeled: Hater or Jealous. However, to be a hater is to be envious of what they have, are or being. Does anyone really WANT to be a whiney butt beggar who has to bribe folks with empty promises and false gratitude?
But pleeeease....I'm begging you pleeeeeeeeeeeease....oh hell let me stop. I have a bit more pride than that. I'm going to leave that for the folks who need it.Or James Brown who can sang it better.
I wonder how many folks will be ready to cuss me out on this one....
SAW
However, it just behooves me to think that some people have to drop to such methods. And when some people fall into that web, do those individuals show any gratitude? Any amount of sincere thanks for accommodating to their request? Hell no! And if they do it is soooooo generalized and so insincere that it makes some people go do nothing of the sort again or make sure someone else wins or receives your support just out of spite. Believe me, as a villain, I have do that on more than one occasion. Most of the time, I just sit and watch and see how many people fall below the waves of disappointment and find a small sense of humility. However, that is almost like trying to find a fart in a jacuzzi.
I know this will probably piss off plenty of folks but those who do understand me and can relate, they will probably agree with me and even call some folks out about it. But, they will probably get labeled: Hater or Jealous. However, to be a hater is to be envious of what they have, are or being. Does anyone really WANT to be a whiney butt beggar who has to bribe folks with empty promises and false gratitude?
But pleeeease....I'm begging you pleeeeeeeeeeeease....oh hell let me stop. I have a bit more pride than that. I'm going to leave that for the folks who need it.Or James Brown who can sang it better.
I wonder how many folks will be ready to cuss me out on this one....
SAW
Friday, December 3, 2010
Insincere Gratidude Is Worse The No Gratitude..
sometime I find it so discouraging and disappointing in how some humans (and I use the term in the broadest of sense) can be so damned ungrateful when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for them, out of the kindest of your heart. And then how is that gesture returned. With an empty thank you and false appreciation like yeah ok whatever.
Nothing pisses me off more than ungrateful people...especially when some people do try to bring a smile to your face with the smallest gestures. As if you are due some sense of entitlement like you should be showered with all that is due to you simply because you grace the planet with your mere presence. Well I hate to be such a barer of bad news but...YOU ARE NOT REALLY ALL THAT! And sadly so many people blow up so many egos now of days with such brain-numbing BS, that some people believe that they are the best thing since ketchup.
Now, I'm all for having confidence and stuff. But, when you have to throw an ego that spills from your head and pollute this planet, not good. And more so, that does not give you some sense of feeling shower me with praise, gifts and I'll give you the honor of being in front of me for your own awe. PLEASE!
But, however worse that is I think acting as if you are forced to have some humility and appreciation of things is as bad. Ok if you can fake it enough just to make someone smile that's fine. Just remember, you don't have to have anything nice done for you but then again, most people will just go beg or something and someone will be brainless enough to do it. And people wonder why don't people just do nice things for others. Cause many are so damn unappreciative. Fake if if you must, don't like it smile and say thanks and try to at least PRETEND....most of you all are good at faking things anyway. How hard is it?
And people wonder why niceness is a dying breed.....
Nothing pisses me off more than ungrateful people...especially when some people do try to bring a smile to your face with the smallest gestures. As if you are due some sense of entitlement like you should be showered with all that is due to you simply because you grace the planet with your mere presence. Well I hate to be such a barer of bad news but...YOU ARE NOT REALLY ALL THAT! And sadly so many people blow up so many egos now of days with such brain-numbing BS, that some people believe that they are the best thing since ketchup.
Now, I'm all for having confidence and stuff. But, when you have to throw an ego that spills from your head and pollute this planet, not good. And more so, that does not give you some sense of feeling shower me with praise, gifts and I'll give you the honor of being in front of me for your own awe. PLEASE!
But, however worse that is I think acting as if you are forced to have some humility and appreciation of things is as bad. Ok if you can fake it enough just to make someone smile that's fine. Just remember, you don't have to have anything nice done for you but then again, most people will just go beg or something and someone will be brainless enough to do it. And people wonder why don't people just do nice things for others. Cause many are so damn unappreciative. Fake if if you must, don't like it smile and say thanks and try to at least PRETEND....most of you all are good at faking things anyway. How hard is it?
And people wonder why niceness is a dying breed.....
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friends Forever...Oh It's Forever...It's Over....
“You cannot say you’ve lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed.”
It was really until recently that such a quote had such a strong meaning to me. Like many things in this roller coaster called life; things grow, develop, bloom, wither and sadly die. I think friendships are the same thing. So many people hear the two words of such endurance among people - "Friends Forever", but I think even now days, friendships have a definite shelf life. Now mind you it can be become of a falling out or a fight that can cause it or something more tragic that ends it. Those sometimes can't be helped and sadly it does happen. However, what happens when one reaches out with a hand just to have it completely ignored? When you try to rekindle just something you missed in another person? To play catch up and just share that goings on over the last few weeks, months or sadly years? How can one justify being put away on a shelf to be ignored when there were times when one friend's words were the difference in so many things or comfort. What happens when a friendship of pure sentiment becomes a friendship of pure convenience only to just fade away like a sunset? Does that make the whole experience meaningless?
And what is mostly the cause of such things? Most can be the distance related. But that is a poor excuse at best. Distance between two, true friends is never far if you put the slightest effort into it. Emails, phone calls and even the old school pen and paper still works fine. However, that isn't the worst and possibly the most unforgivable violation of some friendship rules is the denial of a friend based on inclusion of others into ones intimate circle. Mostly relationships that can become serious or potential of seriousness; and instead of expanding the circle and having others share in experiences or whatnot, most contract and shrink them. Sadly, I have seen it personally in my own life and witnessed it in many others - so the fundamentally question to such thing is why? There can be almost an infinite number of reasons, while some can be remotely legitimate, others are just weak excuses for people who in the long run do not seem to care. Mostly, because most have significant others who are so paranoid in their own fears, insecure in having people who many known you longer, more intimately, or understand you better than yourself that those scared people feel that you can be easily influenced. That in itself is an insult to their own intelligence. Or perhaps, sadly there can be the sense of validity to it. Either way, it does become sad. Significant other says oh you can't be friends with this person or this person because of my own fears and insecurities. Oh you can't talk to this whole gender because I am afraid of infidelity. Are you KIDDING me? Have we become so paranoid that any and everything becomes a sign of distrust.
More so, the saddest thing about all this is not being the adult in saying that you don't feel comfortable maintaining any sort of friendship that you will just cut off all ties and sever everything you may spent months or years establishing only to let it fall because of ones fears or whatever. And what happens if by some happenstance the house of the relationship crumbles into pieces? Who will you turn to? Who could you find some sort of solace? Well there is always those select few who you received some unspoken permission to remain in contact with. But, what about those that stood by you in the hardest of times that you put away like a used book?
Then all those bridges you burned, do you feel that anyone would welcome you back with open arms after you turn your back, then get mad or upset because your feelings were injured? Ask yourself that question when you put your selfishness ahead of others. And yet, most want to assume that nothing had changed during the hiatus. Don't know which is more insulting: Pretending nothing ever happened and it's business as usual, or that they feel they can waltz back in with a hug (only to pull the dagger out of the back) and a good word.
In the end, did the whole thing matter? I guess it depends on the perspective. And at what cost? Well for what it's worth, it makes many weary to build anything. Well you can have the 30 pieces of silver and the kiss for your effort. But, you must ask yourself is it worth it. Sadly, many would say yes and the consequences for that choice maybe too harsh to consider. But, if your friendship never mattered then who would care...right?
SAW
It was really until recently that such a quote had such a strong meaning to me. Like many things in this roller coaster called life; things grow, develop, bloom, wither and sadly die. I think friendships are the same thing. So many people hear the two words of such endurance among people - "Friends Forever", but I think even now days, friendships have a definite shelf life. Now mind you it can be become of a falling out or a fight that can cause it or something more tragic that ends it. Those sometimes can't be helped and sadly it does happen. However, what happens when one reaches out with a hand just to have it completely ignored? When you try to rekindle just something you missed in another person? To play catch up and just share that goings on over the last few weeks, months or sadly years? How can one justify being put away on a shelf to be ignored when there were times when one friend's words were the difference in so many things or comfort. What happens when a friendship of pure sentiment becomes a friendship of pure convenience only to just fade away like a sunset? Does that make the whole experience meaningless?
And what is mostly the cause of such things? Most can be the distance related. But that is a poor excuse at best. Distance between two, true friends is never far if you put the slightest effort into it. Emails, phone calls and even the old school pen and paper still works fine. However, that isn't the worst and possibly the most unforgivable violation of some friendship rules is the denial of a friend based on inclusion of others into ones intimate circle. Mostly relationships that can become serious or potential of seriousness; and instead of expanding the circle and having others share in experiences or whatnot, most contract and shrink them. Sadly, I have seen it personally in my own life and witnessed it in many others - so the fundamentally question to such thing is why? There can be almost an infinite number of reasons, while some can be remotely legitimate, others are just weak excuses for people who in the long run do not seem to care. Mostly, because most have significant others who are so paranoid in their own fears, insecure in having people who many known you longer, more intimately, or understand you better than yourself that those scared people feel that you can be easily influenced. That in itself is an insult to their own intelligence. Or perhaps, sadly there can be the sense of validity to it. Either way, it does become sad. Significant other says oh you can't be friends with this person or this person because of my own fears and insecurities. Oh you can't talk to this whole gender because I am afraid of infidelity. Are you KIDDING me? Have we become so paranoid that any and everything becomes a sign of distrust.
More so, the saddest thing about all this is not being the adult in saying that you don't feel comfortable maintaining any sort of friendship that you will just cut off all ties and sever everything you may spent months or years establishing only to let it fall because of ones fears or whatever. And what happens if by some happenstance the house of the relationship crumbles into pieces? Who will you turn to? Who could you find some sort of solace? Well there is always those select few who you received some unspoken permission to remain in contact with. But, what about those that stood by you in the hardest of times that you put away like a used book?
Then all those bridges you burned, do you feel that anyone would welcome you back with open arms after you turn your back, then get mad or upset because your feelings were injured? Ask yourself that question when you put your selfishness ahead of others. And yet, most want to assume that nothing had changed during the hiatus. Don't know which is more insulting: Pretending nothing ever happened and it's business as usual, or that they feel they can waltz back in with a hug (only to pull the dagger out of the back) and a good word.
In the end, did the whole thing matter? I guess it depends on the perspective. And at what cost? Well for what it's worth, it makes many weary to build anything. Well you can have the 30 pieces of silver and the kiss for your effort. But, you must ask yourself is it worth it. Sadly, many would say yes and the consequences for that choice maybe too harsh to consider. But, if your friendship never mattered then who would care...right?
SAW
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Philosophy of Myself
We as humans have this standard believe, a personal set of ideals of who we are. These ideals change almost daily and can be influenced by many things: social, economic, religious and yes even sexual. (I'll give you a second to absorb that.) However, there is a few set of things we all possess that is set, the basis of our own identity. While some are simple in nature and concept, there other that are complex and vast. I never told anyone about my own personal thoughts and beliefs. Don't be too shocked at it.
1. Happy endings are for the foolishly over-romantic.
I always go for the ending where the hero rides off into the sunset with the woman or gets that one kiss under the gazebo in the rain. I never believed that it is suppose to happen all the time. There going to be some tragedy. Besides if there is a happy ending for one, there usually an endless line of sad ones for others.
2. I always cheer for the bad guy in movies.
Call me the underdog, the cheer of the villain (cause I am one) and all but, even the bag guys needs something to look forward to. I mean the hero always gets the girl, saves the world. But what do we get? Well besides the awesome lines. Hannibal Lecter, Darth Vader, Tony Montana, Stewie Griffin...they all got the best, memorable lines. Even if they didn't save the day. Well except for Vader, but he a special case. I cheer when they blow up shit. Call me evil; you welcome.
3. I'm a realist by birth, cynic by nature.
I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I look at it as someone been drinking out my damn glass and pass me the bottle of Jager. I never been one who is optimistic or pessimistic. There are qualities in each, but I'm a person who just sees it as real. I'm one who believes sometimes hope is the road that leads to disappointment. But, sometimes hope is all we have to make it by. Sometimes it's a study in contradiction, but never said that cynics are the most logical.
Well there shall be more about me later. Now...I need to do some other stuff. What...I don't know. Til then....
1. Happy endings are for the foolishly over-romantic.
I always go for the ending where the hero rides off into the sunset with the woman or gets that one kiss under the gazebo in the rain. I never believed that it is suppose to happen all the time. There going to be some tragedy. Besides if there is a happy ending for one, there usually an endless line of sad ones for others.
2. I always cheer for the bad guy in movies.
Call me the underdog, the cheer of the villain (cause I am one) and all but, even the bag guys needs something to look forward to. I mean the hero always gets the girl, saves the world. But what do we get? Well besides the awesome lines. Hannibal Lecter, Darth Vader, Tony Montana, Stewie Griffin...they all got the best, memorable lines. Even if they didn't save the day. Well except for Vader, but he a special case. I cheer when they blow up shit. Call me evil; you welcome.
3. I'm a realist by birth, cynic by nature.
I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I look at it as someone been drinking out my damn glass and pass me the bottle of Jager. I never been one who is optimistic or pessimistic. There are qualities in each, but I'm a person who just sees it as real. I'm one who believes sometimes hope is the road that leads to disappointment. But, sometimes hope is all we have to make it by. Sometimes it's a study in contradiction, but never said that cynics are the most logical.
Well there shall be more about me later. Now...I need to do some other stuff. What...I don't know. Til then....
Monday, October 25, 2010
what is in a name...
When I decided to make this blog, I had to think about what I wanted to call it. Throughout the years of blog making, and it has been a few blogs I have written and created, I had each one describe an aspect or subject matter that is close to me. However, this one is more personal then the rest. Only because I learned that sometimes to stand against the waves of the world alone is always better to ride the tides of conformity.
My views and opinions, not matter how mundane they are usually sparks more anger than sometimes necessary; however, it is because many are so sensitive to world views, or blinded to the most simple of truths and have what I call the ostrich syndrome. Live your days with your head in the ground and so oblivious to everything. Which is in itself sad to say the least.
I figured that creating this "Stand against the waves" that I have a place where I can draw the line in the sand. I always been a person who was never the leader, nor was one who just followed others blindly. I was always the loner. Never leading anyone to the fates I was going to or the glories others didn't need to go. Call it selfish maybe - but it's more of a public service than anything. None needs to go where I walk. You may dirty your shoes which is an understatement. But, moreso, just don't think anyone is capable to relate or understand my mindset. So it's best that I do stand against all. Besides, one in a world of billions, your worlds will not be remembered and you in the end will not be missed. Just a thought.
SAW
My views and opinions, not matter how mundane they are usually sparks more anger than sometimes necessary; however, it is because many are so sensitive to world views, or blinded to the most simple of truths and have what I call the ostrich syndrome. Live your days with your head in the ground and so oblivious to everything. Which is in itself sad to say the least.
I figured that creating this "Stand against the waves" that I have a place where I can draw the line in the sand. I always been a person who was never the leader, nor was one who just followed others blindly. I was always the loner. Never leading anyone to the fates I was going to or the glories others didn't need to go. Call it selfish maybe - but it's more of a public service than anything. None needs to go where I walk. You may dirty your shoes which is an understatement. But, moreso, just don't think anyone is capable to relate or understand my mindset. So it's best that I do stand against all. Besides, one in a world of billions, your worlds will not be remembered and you in the end will not be missed. Just a thought.
SAW
Saturday, October 16, 2010
How funny some people can be...
I just had to share this little semi-adventure with my people. If most follow my facebook (and if you don't shame on you!) I left something about some teenagers who were just in a nice car (probably one's parent) playing some Lil Jon (good taste for them anyway) those folks probably probably juniors or seniors in some prep school yelling out "Where your hood at, where you hood at?" I had to snicker and laugh as I passed by. And one had to go out and ask me where my hood at? I just stopped and I asked where theirs at and they replied and I just snickered and kept walking. Listen to all you preppies trying to find your hoodness and street cred: rule #1 If you live in a gated community and an on-site golf course, you are not hood and never will be! rule #2 If the police can be at your area in less than 5 minutes to get a cat out the tree, you are not hood.
I had to go and think for a second, what would happen if those fools really went to a real hood and get some real hoodness. Let's take them to some of the tough places:
Orange Mound in Memphis - they wouldn't last 5 minutes; car gets jacked money get stole girlfriends get hoed out.
7th Ward New Orleans - Not even going to say it. They get the hell beat out of them and throw in some swamp never to be seen again and them they go get some gumbo with the money they snatched from the poor saps.
Highland Hills (Dallas Texas) - My homie Jason can attest to this. If you got a hood so rough that the public bus system will stop 2 streets and turn around and say if you going down this area you walking, what you think 3 prep boys driving a Benz will get as a reception. A few chop-shops will be getting new parts. And a 4th grader there will snatch the Benz emblem and make a neck piece out of it.
Pick a place in Houston. 3rd Ward (shout out to my Cartel fam at TSU I miss ya fools) 5th Ward, A-leaf, South Park - really do they wanna go there and shout out what's your hood? When you see kids on big wheels with spinners you in the hood. You getting jumped near Yates High School by a few toddlers and they going to French's Chicken for a free meal - courtesy of you.
and let's not talk bout chicken. Let them come to Morton. yes even here they will get bumrushed. Don't let the chicken plan fool you those chickens go hard. When you go a school with razor wire. This is hood! Welcome to Kingland baby this is how it's done. Da Bottom folks will just rob you in broad daylight and laugh. Really now golf course folks gets throw into the chicken trucks...
Now really what's my hood? I am my hood...now gimme your allowance and car. I'm heading down I-45 to H-town for some French's Chicken. I can drop those folks at Pleasant Grove and let them yell out I'm hood in Da Grove...that be funny.
SAW
I had to go and think for a second, what would happen if those fools really went to a real hood and get some real hoodness. Let's take them to some of the tough places:
Orange Mound in Memphis - they wouldn't last 5 minutes; car gets jacked money get stole girlfriends get hoed out.
7th Ward New Orleans - Not even going to say it. They get the hell beat out of them and throw in some swamp never to be seen again and them they go get some gumbo with the money they snatched from the poor saps.
Highland Hills (Dallas Texas) - My homie Jason can attest to this. If you got a hood so rough that the public bus system will stop 2 streets and turn around and say if you going down this area you walking, what you think 3 prep boys driving a Benz will get as a reception. A few chop-shops will be getting new parts. And a 4th grader there will snatch the Benz emblem and make a neck piece out of it.
Pick a place in Houston. 3rd Ward (shout out to my Cartel fam at TSU I miss ya fools) 5th Ward, A-leaf, South Park - really do they wanna go there and shout out what's your hood? When you see kids on big wheels with spinners you in the hood. You getting jumped near Yates High School by a few toddlers and they going to French's Chicken for a free meal - courtesy of you.
and let's not talk bout chicken. Let them come to Morton. yes even here they will get bumrushed. Don't let the chicken plan fool you those chickens go hard. When you go a school with razor wire. This is hood! Welcome to Kingland baby this is how it's done. Da Bottom folks will just rob you in broad daylight and laugh. Really now golf course folks gets throw into the chicken trucks...
Now really what's my hood? I am my hood...now gimme your allowance and car. I'm heading down I-45 to H-town for some French's Chicken. I can drop those folks at Pleasant Grove and let them yell out I'm hood in Da Grove...that be funny.
SAW
Friday, October 8, 2010
Words of comfort can sometimes be too hurtful
We as humans know the power of words. They can inspire, condemn, give us strength or sometimes give us grief. But, there just some words and should I say parables and tidbits of wisdom that do the opposite of its intent; in short it just annoys many or it can be just me. Maybe, it is just my cynical nature to be as such. Which does make it the proper course of action; when I usually hear these anti-soothing words, I usually get into sarcastic mode or just really cold factor 666 and speak such a retort that well not many would want to say anything consoling. And here, my people, are pretty much the trash de la trash that just makes me want to strangle the person who not only said it to me but the moron who conjured up the words of vile false comfort. Prepare for vileness of remarks that will cause most eyes to bleed in fear…
(3) If you love someone, set them free. If they come back it is meant to be.
Really, you kidding me with this one right? No I will keep them incarcerated in my love prison. If I put this much time and effort in just to let them go. And furthermore, if they don’t come back then what? It was a total depletion of time, money and mental necessity that I could be spending on strippers and beer. It’s not meant to be so thank you for killing x amount of months trying to see if this was something that will last. Thank you for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts and an invitation to the ex and the new love interest’s wedding. We are registered at Bridezilla-Groom. And what happens by some grace of divine intervention (and constant begging maybe) they do come back. Yeah it’s meant to be but you will have that lingering amount of doubt. What happens if they get a wild hair and need to leave again? I say let their ass go and keep them gone. Cause if they have to leave in the first place it’s pretty much a done deal and grab the remote and watch your shows you wish to watch. If they love you they will stay if not then they never cared to begin with. To hell with them and don’t let the door hit you where the rat should have bit you.
(2) Don’t worry it’s their loss.
You know how many times, I wish I can take those words and hang myself with them. I want to ask those folks, really I lost. So why do I feel like the loser. And the winner which is them, feel they made out like a bandit doing whatever and not worry about it. Yeah their loss, while your ex-boyfriend or husband is balls deep in some woman or your ex-girlfriend or wife is getting balled deep by some stud that is pretty much better than you. Let’s face it if they wasn’t you would sure as hell not be in the situation you at; probably mad, asking a billion questions playing the eternal “what if” game; while they are flaunting their newfound freedom with a new love or sex toy underneath their arm. So who is the loser here in this contest of amore? And the grand prize…the loss of your own dignity and self-worth because it’s been walk over by someone who feel you are free tennis racket prize that Bob Barker gave you and you wanting the new car – noone gives a damn. Their loss…HA! No it’s not their loss it ours for believing such hogwash words like this. Excuse me while I go vomit up least years Thanksgiving dinner.
So I wonder how many of you at home players can see the pattern that is being created by this blog entry. Yes, there is a method to my madness and sadly, few can even comprehend it. Even fewer can relate. But, for those who can understand this and have any grasp of how I can probably feel, then my hats out to you. Welcome to the true cynical world of me. Have a drink and read the finally piece of de-comforting sentiment:
(1) It is better to have love and loss than not to have loved at all.
Those 15 words have about as much meaning and sense as a fire engine with gasoline instead of water. Where does it say in the handbook of love that it is good to have something in your hand and snatched away? So it’s good to enjoy it for a while and poof not there. It’s about as logical as having a free meal from a five-star restaurant with the best in wines only to be taken away after one sip and one bite. Oh yeah it’s nice to savor it but you don’t need to enjoy it for something long lasting. What a load of bovine fecal matter…oh wait let me call it like it is…BULLSHIT!!!! I don’t buy that. It’s about good to never have it because then you don’t know what you miss or loss on. The emotions and feelings will not be as potent or as painful. Yeah many can say it will be just practice for the next one to come along. However, for some this could be it for them, what of them? And those who are too bitter and angry to even take a chance? I swear. I would gorilla punch someone who told me after a breakup that was not my fault. I think the phrase should go as thus: “It is not good to have love and lose it and better to not have it snatched after obtained.” You don’t want to have a million dollars only to be taken away before you can even spend it on cheap liquor, hookers and blow right?
So now my people, the lesson for today is to watch your words in what you say as comfort. Hell don’t even say any words a hug a baseball bat and an alibi works wonders. Just remember watch what you say next time and maybe you won’t have a pot of hot grits coming in your direction.
SAW
(3) If you love someone, set them free. If they come back it is meant to be.
Really, you kidding me with this one right? No I will keep them incarcerated in my love prison. If I put this much time and effort in just to let them go. And furthermore, if they don’t come back then what? It was a total depletion of time, money and mental necessity that I could be spending on strippers and beer. It’s not meant to be so thank you for killing x amount of months trying to see if this was something that will last. Thank you for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts and an invitation to the ex and the new love interest’s wedding. We are registered at Bridezilla-Groom. And what happens by some grace of divine intervention (and constant begging maybe) they do come back. Yeah it’s meant to be but you will have that lingering amount of doubt. What happens if they get a wild hair and need to leave again? I say let their ass go and keep them gone. Cause if they have to leave in the first place it’s pretty much a done deal and grab the remote and watch your shows you wish to watch. If they love you they will stay if not then they never cared to begin with. To hell with them and don’t let the door hit you where the rat should have bit you.
(2) Don’t worry it’s their loss.
You know how many times, I wish I can take those words and hang myself with them. I want to ask those folks, really I lost. So why do I feel like the loser. And the winner which is them, feel they made out like a bandit doing whatever and not worry about it. Yeah their loss, while your ex-boyfriend or husband is balls deep in some woman or your ex-girlfriend or wife is getting balled deep by some stud that is pretty much better than you. Let’s face it if they wasn’t you would sure as hell not be in the situation you at; probably mad, asking a billion questions playing the eternal “what if” game; while they are flaunting their newfound freedom with a new love or sex toy underneath their arm. So who is the loser here in this contest of amore? And the grand prize…the loss of your own dignity and self-worth because it’s been walk over by someone who feel you are free tennis racket prize that Bob Barker gave you and you wanting the new car – noone gives a damn. Their loss…HA! No it’s not their loss it ours for believing such hogwash words like this. Excuse me while I go vomit up least years Thanksgiving dinner.
So I wonder how many of you at home players can see the pattern that is being created by this blog entry. Yes, there is a method to my madness and sadly, few can even comprehend it. Even fewer can relate. But, for those who can understand this and have any grasp of how I can probably feel, then my hats out to you. Welcome to the true cynical world of me. Have a drink and read the finally piece of de-comforting sentiment:
(1) It is better to have love and loss than not to have loved at all.
Those 15 words have about as much meaning and sense as a fire engine with gasoline instead of water. Where does it say in the handbook of love that it is good to have something in your hand and snatched away? So it’s good to enjoy it for a while and poof not there. It’s about as logical as having a free meal from a five-star restaurant with the best in wines only to be taken away after one sip and one bite. Oh yeah it’s nice to savor it but you don’t need to enjoy it for something long lasting. What a load of bovine fecal matter…oh wait let me call it like it is…BULLSHIT!!!! I don’t buy that. It’s about good to never have it because then you don’t know what you miss or loss on. The emotions and feelings will not be as potent or as painful. Yeah many can say it will be just practice for the next one to come along. However, for some this could be it for them, what of them? And those who are too bitter and angry to even take a chance? I swear. I would gorilla punch someone who told me after a breakup that was not my fault. I think the phrase should go as thus: “It is not good to have love and lose it and better to not have it snatched after obtained.” You don’t want to have a million dollars only to be taken away before you can even spend it on cheap liquor, hookers and blow right?
So now my people, the lesson for today is to watch your words in what you say as comfort. Hell don’t even say any words a hug a baseball bat and an alibi works wonders. Just remember watch what you say next time and maybe you won’t have a pot of hot grits coming in your direction.
SAW
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wise Words Falls Deaf Upon Ignorant
For a long time, I never really appreciated such a statement, really until recently. So many people in my life, acquaintances and friends seem to be falling into such a spiral of naivety. But what puzzles me is why is when you know the outcome of a situation that you know full well will not be beneficial or positive you still go through it knowing that it will be a disaster and end up holding the business end of a knife in the heart or a few dollars short in the bank account?
I sometimes wonder is it because we as humans must be so willing to break the binds of fate and win a victory for our self-determination. Or is it to overcome the chains of endless repeats? Most describe insanity as the process of doing things over and over hoping for a different outcome - but know that it will not. As 2 + 2 is 4, some things will not change. You can change the tactics of whatever, but due to our human make up, some things will not change, only the time of the occurrence. Yet, we still do it. Is some members of society truly insane. And what happens if by some happenstance, something miraculous occurs. It is a divine miracle, or do we come out like pure geniuses?
Somehow, it's rare, extremely rare that latter does happen. However, for so many, it is almost a crusade to do it. To change it for an outcome that is positive. But in the meantime, there is a serious amount of animosity in the mind of many people. And in the worse case, there is a amount of lashing out of those who try to warn or provide counsel to prevent such notions from happening - especially, those who already know it will come out as predicted.
Are we just suckers for the punishment of failure? Are we so determined to see the truth of logic in our own eyes, and not pay attention to those who may have already been in that situation and not accept the experience or even accept the perspective of others? Is our pride as a human so blinding that we chose to ignore things that is right in front of us or in our own mind? How do we close the door of ignorance and open the windows of wisdom? That is the question of many but sadly can not be so easily answered. So I throw this upon the panel. Are we ignorant and blind to reason?
Ponder upon this my friends.
SAW
p.s. to those who read this and is in the situation: open your mind to reason and listen to perspective.
I sometimes wonder is it because we as humans must be so willing to break the binds of fate and win a victory for our self-determination. Or is it to overcome the chains of endless repeats? Most describe insanity as the process of doing things over and over hoping for a different outcome - but know that it will not. As 2 + 2 is 4, some things will not change. You can change the tactics of whatever, but due to our human make up, some things will not change, only the time of the occurrence. Yet, we still do it. Is some members of society truly insane. And what happens if by some happenstance, something miraculous occurs. It is a divine miracle, or do we come out like pure geniuses?
Somehow, it's rare, extremely rare that latter does happen. However, for so many, it is almost a crusade to do it. To change it for an outcome that is positive. But in the meantime, there is a serious amount of animosity in the mind of many people. And in the worse case, there is a amount of lashing out of those who try to warn or provide counsel to prevent such notions from happening - especially, those who already know it will come out as predicted.
Are we just suckers for the punishment of failure? Are we so determined to see the truth of logic in our own eyes, and not pay attention to those who may have already been in that situation and not accept the experience or even accept the perspective of others? Is our pride as a human so blinding that we chose to ignore things that is right in front of us or in our own mind? How do we close the door of ignorance and open the windows of wisdom? That is the question of many but sadly can not be so easily answered. So I throw this upon the panel. Are we ignorant and blind to reason?
Ponder upon this my friends.
SAW
p.s. to those who read this and is in the situation: open your mind to reason and listen to perspective.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Oh Damn!
It's funny sometimes how one person's name can drive a sense of
erotic nostalgia. Men, think of that one woman who can almost
give an instant hard on, or make you consider just a sense of
thought to one particular night or day or lunch hour. How her
perfume smelled, her touch electrified you, her lips doing those
things that you like done. Or the way her body responded to your
touch. Or how she drained you of every ounce of energy of that
moment's pleasure - leaving you exhausted, wanting more but not
able to keep up. However, you are willing to admit defeat. Ever
think about that?
Ladies, you think about that one man who just came with nothing
but a smile and a mission. A mission to pleasure you in ever
way. To remind you how it feels to be a natural woman. To caress
every body part, to conquer ever inhibition...leave you breathless
with a sense of shear delight. That one best kept secret...that
one man/woman who is that person we call Their Oh Damn!
You know that one person who just knows how to bring it, and
keep it brought. It’s not a difficult thing in some ways. It can be
how for ladies: the way he lays the hammer down or for the guy,
how he nibbles a neck. How one gets aggressive and the other
gets sensual. How one leaves kisses on your body and one that
leave bitemarks later?
So I ask, what makes a person be that Oh Damn! And one be
just mediocre or just DAMN what a waste? Is it the emotions,
is it the skill or is it the combination of it all? How can one be
like that? Is there a method, a lesson or something that just is
natural? Can there be more than one person who has that title?
Or is it one only?
I think we as humans, kind of in a subconscious way, try to
be that person who reaches the Oh Damn! status. I think
personally, it’s a sense of personal pride and a gain in
supreme confidence to be that Oh Damn! person. We all want
to be that one person who fills the deepest chapter in one’s
sexual diary. That one part of the book that is filled with all
the nastiest, best, uninhibited tales of erotic delight, passion-
ate ecstasy and almost pornographic pleasure?
Truthfully, some have it, others strive to get it, few can’t
obtain it and many can never reach it. So, it leaves me back
to the one question – What makes a person be that Champion
Oh Damn! person?
erotic nostalgia. Men, think of that one woman who can almost
give an instant hard on, or make you consider just a sense of
thought to one particular night or day or lunch hour. How her
perfume smelled, her touch electrified you, her lips doing those
things that you like done. Or the way her body responded to your
touch. Or how she drained you of every ounce of energy of that
moment's pleasure - leaving you exhausted, wanting more but not
able to keep up. However, you are willing to admit defeat. Ever
think about that?
Ladies, you think about that one man who just came with nothing
but a smile and a mission. A mission to pleasure you in ever
way. To remind you how it feels to be a natural woman. To caress
every body part, to conquer ever inhibition...leave you breathless
with a sense of shear delight. That one best kept secret...that
one man/woman who is that person we call Their Oh Damn!
You know that one person who just knows how to bring it, and
keep it brought. It’s not a difficult thing in some ways. It can be
how for ladies: the way he lays the hammer down or for the guy,
how he nibbles a neck. How one gets aggressive and the other
gets sensual. How one leaves kisses on your body and one that
leave bitemarks later?
So I ask, what makes a person be that Oh Damn! And one be
just mediocre or just DAMN what a waste? Is it the emotions,
is it the skill or is it the combination of it all? How can one be
like that? Is there a method, a lesson or something that just is
natural? Can there be more than one person who has that title?
Or is it one only?
I think we as humans, kind of in a subconscious way, try to
be that person who reaches the Oh Damn! status. I think
personally, it’s a sense of personal pride and a gain in
supreme confidence to be that Oh Damn! person. We all want
to be that one person who fills the deepest chapter in one’s
sexual diary. That one part of the book that is filled with all
the nastiest, best, uninhibited tales of erotic delight, passion-
ate ecstasy and almost pornographic pleasure?
Truthfully, some have it, others strive to get it, few can’t
obtain it and many can never reach it. So, it leaves me back
to the one question – What makes a person be that Champion
Oh Damn! person?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Price of Higher Education: Or the Cost of Ruin
We all have heard the advertisements and seen the great notions for going to college. To advance yourself into in finding some career and make life better for yourself and loved ones. While that is fine and good, there are many stories, many of those who go never to find the pot of gold of prosperity. It’s not for reasons of effort, nor the dreams of ambition to do it, but the almighty dollar. Most are not born in to affluent families who can fork over a blank check and pay for it. Working your way through school is a valid option and many do it; however, more burn out and not finish because of the strains of maintaining your class load along with your workload is too much for many. Then many are not smart, or fortunate enough to obtain any significant scholarships without jumping through flaming hoops like a circus animal. You hear about free money around just for the taking, sadly to get it, you must have “certain” qualifications or restrictions to receive it.
Which leans the last and mostly the worse option, the all fun student loan. I know most would not think of it as such and that it’s just a way to pay for school. But, many have been trapped into a pitfall of amassed loans which you will have to repay the minute you get your degree. I know it’s a loan and you must treat it as such but the way some companies and most schools have excusive contracts or agreements to use only one provider. It’s amazing how one company in particular have a clear cut monopoly upon those who seek a higher education. And, with this power, they can impose just about anything they want, using financial blackmail to sign agreements of loans to pay for school, especially when grants and scholarships run out. Higher interest rates and a mob style tactics that only care about their bottom line profits than the concerns of the reason to go to school, obtain an education.
I have heard many of the horror stories of some company, which shall be remain nameless. Because I don’t need the libel suit. Hell not like that I care about that, can’t squeeze a dollar from a nickel. But, then again. I can use a small change to ensure the CYA plan. And for you home players out there who don’t speak Ghettoese, CYA means Cover Your Ass. The truth is that most people ask is college even worth it? With today’s economy as bad as it is and few opportunities out there to even have any employment that don’t ask you the question “do you want fries what that?” so limited., it just seems very discouraging to even enroll. However, we heard our parents preach over and over that you cannot get anywhere without some higher degree, but honestly, those days have long since gone.
So now, I have been fighting this student loan provider, let’s call her Mallie Sae, and this woman has been nothing more than a predatory, bitch in the worse order. I don’t know if I can even begin to express just the pure disgust I have for them. Their gang style tactics has been nothing but deplorable and add a school like SuckUDry (now I know why Jay Leno makes fun of the place) it’s a crazy tag-team that cause more than a share of headaches. Now this is a combination of one place that only offers one set of loans if you wish to go to school there, I graduate and the economy takes a nosedive. Finding a job that’s suitable for my degree is near impossible. I STILL know people who graduated still can’t anything worthwhile. Hell, I really think that my degree is a joke.
And the crazy thing is that recently, I saw a few commercials from my so called old school giving so much praise about how they are do diverse and how many students can find employment within their field upon graduation. I am like false, misleading advertising. And to be honest, I call total and complete BULL! I known people who had graduated with me had good grades who could not find a job in their field; because either 1 they were over qualified, or 2 did not have the significant experience for the job; which now of days is the only thing to secure any type of employment. And I am asking myself after looking at the piece of lying propaganda, are they for real? Unless they are talking about other campuses, there is no way and I mean no way on this green, dustball that we call earth they have this many folks getting jobs.
But, I get so many letters from the alumni association to join and discuss our experiences with our school and how we are getting along outside the confided walls of that insane, educational asylum. I am trying to keep folks from going there not attend. I mean seriously, it would be a public service to keep anyone from making the mistakes many of us have made.
Now that I have discussed that, let’s continue this lecture about the price tag of this. I know schools in general are about giving an education – but the price of that cost was crazy. Schools are for profits, the almighty dollar. And, anyone who says otherwise is lying or very good in their marketing department. However, the worse lot the providers of said loans. Now that the education bill is supposed to help eliminate many of the problems students face, I still get calls from them constantly. I now know that they are trying to reclaim, lost profits, with the downturn as it is.
Looking back at the experience at SuckUDry, were not a total waste of time, I have met some good people that I have made some lasting friendships so it was not a nightmare in its entirety, yet, looking at where I am at now and where I was suppose to be with the goals I was setting out to do at school and what they was to help provide, nothing has come out of it. Funny thing is that there suppose to be so many leaders industry that suppose to pluck many students from here, yet you don’t hear many give such praises about them now days. I have to look at the research and get a true estimate of it.
So, now I look at everything that has come full circle. The poor swindler who came to my house in the little blue Toyota truck who left my house in Morton, Mississippi with a guy knee deep in debt from Mallie Sae and a degree that is about worth the price of a piece of used bubble gum, and constant phone calls from loan/debt collectors who call at all parts of the day and night, who is about to get me to go ghetto on their asses. I need to do some research about them harassing a guy and stuff. Maybe sue them to get my bills paid. Only a dream huh? Isn’t that what school is suppose to do? Help you build a dream of a career. Unless you are a scholarship athlete or a child prodigy, it don’t happen very often. Which makes me ask, what is the price of a higher education? Most would say your eternal soul, plus 32.55% interest. I think that in today’s time, that price for such an education from such a disaster technical/trade school is not worth it. You can clearly get something better form Daisy’s Jean school of hair and nails and have something better and tangible. But, I shall do what I always done in my life, endure on and carry on the struggle, and laugh at the constant jokes that many people throw upon my school and the student loans that are launched by many people. I find it funny, they seen the truth that many others don’t who are caught in the web of expensive deception.
Which leans the last and mostly the worse option, the all fun student loan. I know most would not think of it as such and that it’s just a way to pay for school. But, many have been trapped into a pitfall of amassed loans which you will have to repay the minute you get your degree. I know it’s a loan and you must treat it as such but the way some companies and most schools have excusive contracts or agreements to use only one provider. It’s amazing how one company in particular have a clear cut monopoly upon those who seek a higher education. And, with this power, they can impose just about anything they want, using financial blackmail to sign agreements of loans to pay for school, especially when grants and scholarships run out. Higher interest rates and a mob style tactics that only care about their bottom line profits than the concerns of the reason to go to school, obtain an education.
I have heard many of the horror stories of some company, which shall be remain nameless. Because I don’t need the libel suit. Hell not like that I care about that, can’t squeeze a dollar from a nickel. But, then again. I can use a small change to ensure the CYA plan. And for you home players out there who don’t speak Ghettoese, CYA means Cover Your Ass. The truth is that most people ask is college even worth it? With today’s economy as bad as it is and few opportunities out there to even have any employment that don’t ask you the question “do you want fries what that?” so limited., it just seems very discouraging to even enroll. However, we heard our parents preach over and over that you cannot get anywhere without some higher degree, but honestly, those days have long since gone.
So now, I have been fighting this student loan provider, let’s call her Mallie Sae, and this woman has been nothing more than a predatory, bitch in the worse order. I don’t know if I can even begin to express just the pure disgust I have for them. Their gang style tactics has been nothing but deplorable and add a school like SuckUDry (now I know why Jay Leno makes fun of the place) it’s a crazy tag-team that cause more than a share of headaches. Now this is a combination of one place that only offers one set of loans if you wish to go to school there, I graduate and the economy takes a nosedive. Finding a job that’s suitable for my degree is near impossible. I STILL know people who graduated still can’t anything worthwhile. Hell, I really think that my degree is a joke.
And the crazy thing is that recently, I saw a few commercials from my so called old school giving so much praise about how they are do diverse and how many students can find employment within their field upon graduation. I am like false, misleading advertising. And to be honest, I call total and complete BULL! I known people who had graduated with me had good grades who could not find a job in their field; because either 1 they were over qualified, or 2 did not have the significant experience for the job; which now of days is the only thing to secure any type of employment. And I am asking myself after looking at the piece of lying propaganda, are they for real? Unless they are talking about other campuses, there is no way and I mean no way on this green, dustball that we call earth they have this many folks getting jobs.
But, I get so many letters from the alumni association to join and discuss our experiences with our school and how we are getting along outside the confided walls of that insane, educational asylum. I am trying to keep folks from going there not attend. I mean seriously, it would be a public service to keep anyone from making the mistakes many of us have made.
Now that I have discussed that, let’s continue this lecture about the price tag of this. I know schools in general are about giving an education – but the price of that cost was crazy. Schools are for profits, the almighty dollar. And, anyone who says otherwise is lying or very good in their marketing department. However, the worse lot the providers of said loans. Now that the education bill is supposed to help eliminate many of the problems students face, I still get calls from them constantly. I now know that they are trying to reclaim, lost profits, with the downturn as it is.
Looking back at the experience at SuckUDry, were not a total waste of time, I have met some good people that I have made some lasting friendships so it was not a nightmare in its entirety, yet, looking at where I am at now and where I was suppose to be with the goals I was setting out to do at school and what they was to help provide, nothing has come out of it. Funny thing is that there suppose to be so many leaders industry that suppose to pluck many students from here, yet you don’t hear many give such praises about them now days. I have to look at the research and get a true estimate of it.
So, now I look at everything that has come full circle. The poor swindler who came to my house in the little blue Toyota truck who left my house in Morton, Mississippi with a guy knee deep in debt from Mallie Sae and a degree that is about worth the price of a piece of used bubble gum, and constant phone calls from loan/debt collectors who call at all parts of the day and night, who is about to get me to go ghetto on their asses. I need to do some research about them harassing a guy and stuff. Maybe sue them to get my bills paid. Only a dream huh? Isn’t that what school is suppose to do? Help you build a dream of a career. Unless you are a scholarship athlete or a child prodigy, it don’t happen very often. Which makes me ask, what is the price of a higher education? Most would say your eternal soul, plus 32.55% interest. I think that in today’s time, that price for such an education from such a disaster technical/trade school is not worth it. You can clearly get something better form Daisy’s Jean school of hair and nails and have something better and tangible. But, I shall do what I always done in my life, endure on and carry on the struggle, and laugh at the constant jokes that many people throw upon my school and the student loans that are launched by many people. I find it funny, they seen the truth that many others don’t who are caught in the web of expensive deception.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
just something I wrote
many of those who know me, I don't have much a poetic bone in my body. And to conjure up anything that is not a haiku is rare at best. But for some reason, this I wrote just came out. I almost decided not to post it anywhere but I figured why not..
A Dream a Requiem
The last song, sung into the wind,
only the angels and bird can hear its melody.
The final words been written,
a lost masterpiece, only read by the recycle bin.
The great painting, one brush away from completion,
now forever covered by a layer of white.
All things, gone into obscurity.
Ambitions, like the turning of the seasons, change anew.
Some are nurtured, others starve for attention.
The true survival of the fittest – survival is viability,
success is the harvest, failure is the famine.
The lost, locked away in a steam trunk in our minds,
never to be opened – abandoned and forgotten.
The song, silenced into a box and placed in the trunk,
for it was not suitable for the ears of many.
The book, one that could shape a society, bound in cloth,
the words unworthy to be seen by others.
A painting, rolled into a tube of cardboard,
not enough strength to be considered a classic.
Multitude of others just like this, each one a small wish,
each one a desire of our own secret heart – a thought.
The trunks of one’s deepest mind, the sanctuary of forgetfulness,
this is where dreams to go die.
The unfinished picture of the singer who wanted her songs heard,
from the words she written – all connected and all gone.
This is the requiem of what was never achieved.
All those broken and abandoned desires – your song.
Each one, like a friend saying goodbye, farewell.
To a dream, here is a requiem.
If not for anyone or anything, for the last dreams never to shine.
All can be given is a small words of regret.
To a dream…a requiem.
© Sicc-n-da-head Productions 2010
A Dream a Requiem
The last song, sung into the wind,
only the angels and bird can hear its melody.
The final words been written,
a lost masterpiece, only read by the recycle bin.
The great painting, one brush away from completion,
now forever covered by a layer of white.
All things, gone into obscurity.
Ambitions, like the turning of the seasons, change anew.
Some are nurtured, others starve for attention.
The true survival of the fittest – survival is viability,
success is the harvest, failure is the famine.
The lost, locked away in a steam trunk in our minds,
never to be opened – abandoned and forgotten.
The song, silenced into a box and placed in the trunk,
for it was not suitable for the ears of many.
The book, one that could shape a society, bound in cloth,
the words unworthy to be seen by others.
A painting, rolled into a tube of cardboard,
not enough strength to be considered a classic.
Multitude of others just like this, each one a small wish,
each one a desire of our own secret heart – a thought.
The trunks of one’s deepest mind, the sanctuary of forgetfulness,
this is where dreams to go die.
The unfinished picture of the singer who wanted her songs heard,
from the words she written – all connected and all gone.
This is the requiem of what was never achieved.
All those broken and abandoned desires – your song.
Each one, like a friend saying goodbye, farewell.
To a dream, here is a requiem.
If not for anyone or anything, for the last dreams never to shine.
All can be given is a small words of regret.
To a dream…a requiem.
© Sicc-n-da-head Productions 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
And now...the blast!
I just had to say my night out was not anything but boring. I had been asking by a real good friend to go out to this club just to get out. I really didn't feel like it but I figured, what the hell...I needed a time out. I'm glad I went because, I have not been able to do any serious people watching and talking about folks who know damn well they ain't suppose to wear what they are wearing and BOY do we have some doozies here ladies and gentleman. But we will get to that later. But first let's get to the CLUB itself.
First of all, when there is a club named after a car, a luxury car at that, chances are it's not going to fit the class of it's name sake. And with a name like Rolls Royce (why do I have that song I Wanna Get Next To You in my head...), you think it's up there with a good name. Hell Naw!!! Rolls Royce Club is more like Club Yugo Or the Broken Down Pinto Club. I mean really, my people how the hell you going to put a club in the middle of a strip mall, next to a Mexican restaurant and an Irish pub. And this is "SUPPOSE" to be a restaurant but when you see the menu. Which was posted on a piece of white construction paper posted on the board. And speaking of posting things, someone needed to give spell check to some folks who wrote signs. This was posted by the door: I you don't not have id, don't do no ins and outs. I kid you not on this one. How many double negatives is in that sentence? Care to count.
Any way, the menu consisted of nachos, colt 45, and cheese fries. Now that is a menu suitable for a 5-star accommodations if there ever was one. Just makes you wanna fork over the cash for it.
Now that the club has been describe - as something that looks like hoodcity. Let's talk about the patrons. Oh the tickets were having to be issued out, before 11:45 mind you were in full effect. Some of the ladies there, heaven help them for they don't know any better...who am I kidding they knew DAMN well what they were doing. But really, I think a majority were the second string from Street Walker Teams that resident in the Harry Hines Section of Dallas. For those who are not aware of that area. It's more like Hooker City and the Hostroll. I think they all took the night off of working the corners and work the club.
And the violators: one and all. There is an old saying: just because they make it in your size does not mean you need to wear it. Now mind you, if you have the confidence to do it and all, by all means do your thing. But, there is a device that you may want to invest in that will make your out going experience a bit more...well appealing. A mirror would do wonders for many folks. I need to throw some instructions in how to use a mirror. If you got things needing to be tucked away, tuck them away mkay. If you need to stuff a bra, don't have the tissue so blatantly obvious that I want to blow my nose. Subtly is our friend. Remember that!
And the makeup. Some don't understand. Less is more. And makeup should be so literal. I was starting to think that Halloween came early because most folks just plastered eyeliner on lipstick painted on their faces. And speaking of eyeliner. Someone please answer me this? Why in all that's green and holy would you shave your eyebrows just to pencil others into it, go into a sweaty club knowing full well it's going to melt and run all over. I mean you look like something from a bad metal video. I'm just saying. Burn victims wear less than some folks.
And the shoes. Now if you going to be hoochie and wear some hooker shoes, at least number 1, learn how to walk in them. Nothing says klutz than trying to walk in shoes that you can't walk in trying to be cute. Because the minute you fall, is the minute I am going to fall down laughing. I have done it before and I sure will do it again. And also, try to get something comfortable. I mean why you going to wear something that's looks like it's going to hurt your bunions over there. I seen many a lady walking like penguins trying to impress the guys and girls there. Only thing that is impressive is that the shoes didn't break because some of those feet were torturing those shoes, begging for release or salvation from the oppressors of the toes.
And the guys there, some days I am almost ashamed of my gender. It just amazes me to see how some guys just approach up and throw the most outlandish lines. Gotta hand it to some of them, it seemed to work but others...it's a true Epic Fail if there ever was one. And most was falling for the lines, smiling and giggling. I hope for their sake it was one of those fake laughs. But it seemed to get them to the dance floor.
Dance floor...this brings me to my WTF! moment of the night. My people, answer this question. Eight grown ass men on the dance floor dancing, probably drunk off patron and henny - or smoking the herbage of 420, and not a single woman between them. Not til at least 5 minutes later when one comes and they surround her like sharks on a carcass. I am almost honor bound to confiscate their man card. And if you dressed like a reject from the thug life hotline, you REALLY need to have your man card repoed.
And the biggest funtime of the night. Oh it was a doozy. Around 11:45 or something the wonderful friends from Dallas Police come in like storm troopers along with the city attorneys office. They were checking for licenses and permits and all that good stuff. Even had a cop get some of the food that was there (what food it is.) can't take the police anywhere. No home training at all. But you would think that it was a warrant roundup or something from all the nervous folks that were around. Never seen so many hood rats and roaches bailing out the door.
Well the DJ took a cue from it and played some Al Green...I gotta give the DJ props Al can make anything sound better but even he can't save that night. Bout midnight after a few fines were issued and from what I heard it's alot. Dallas said close the bars, shut it down! So before midnight, the party was over and a few folks wasn't happy about it. Had to drag one guy out in cuffs and all that. I'm like oh snap they bout to do a Rodney King in Dallas...he was trying to get his club on well now he can be clubbing in the club jail.
Taking the cue, we got the hell out and home. It was good to hang with my friends and not so good seeing some folks I could spent the night now. But, the sheer joy of laughing at some folks in how they behaved and wore, good 3 hours to kill. I so tried to throw a picture or 3 but the lights were too bad to grab anything suitable. I would posted them.
But in short, it was an epic fail night in club yugo and after 11:45 you go out the door cause they shutting it down and the moral to the story - make it a blockbuster night. But, I did get a few giggles from the moronity of social interaction and the hooker fashion show. Now I know what's going to popular for the spring. Better start saving. And I for one shall fight the good fight to put some sensibility to a crazy world.
poor guys on the dance floor dancing alone....give me those damn man cards!
SAW
First of all, when there is a club named after a car, a luxury car at that, chances are it's not going to fit the class of it's name sake. And with a name like Rolls Royce (why do I have that song I Wanna Get Next To You in my head...), you think it's up there with a good name. Hell Naw!!! Rolls Royce Club is more like Club Yugo Or the Broken Down Pinto Club. I mean really, my people how the hell you going to put a club in the middle of a strip mall, next to a Mexican restaurant and an Irish pub. And this is "SUPPOSE" to be a restaurant but when you see the menu. Which was posted on a piece of white construction paper posted on the board. And speaking of posting things, someone needed to give spell check to some folks who wrote signs. This was posted by the door: I you don't not have id, don't do no ins and outs. I kid you not on this one. How many double negatives is in that sentence? Care to count.
Any way, the menu consisted of nachos, colt 45, and cheese fries. Now that is a menu suitable for a 5-star accommodations if there ever was one. Just makes you wanna fork over the cash for it.
Now that the club has been describe - as something that looks like hoodcity. Let's talk about the patrons. Oh the tickets were having to be issued out, before 11:45 mind you were in full effect. Some of the ladies there, heaven help them for they don't know any better...who am I kidding they knew DAMN well what they were doing. But really, I think a majority were the second string from Street Walker Teams that resident in the Harry Hines Section of Dallas. For those who are not aware of that area. It's more like Hooker City and the Hostroll. I think they all took the night off of working the corners and work the club.
And the violators: one and all. There is an old saying: just because they make it in your size does not mean you need to wear it. Now mind you, if you have the confidence to do it and all, by all means do your thing. But, there is a device that you may want to invest in that will make your out going experience a bit more...well appealing. A mirror would do wonders for many folks. I need to throw some instructions in how to use a mirror. If you got things needing to be tucked away, tuck them away mkay. If you need to stuff a bra, don't have the tissue so blatantly obvious that I want to blow my nose. Subtly is our friend. Remember that!
And the makeup. Some don't understand. Less is more. And makeup should be so literal. I was starting to think that Halloween came early because most folks just plastered eyeliner on lipstick painted on their faces. And speaking of eyeliner. Someone please answer me this? Why in all that's green and holy would you shave your eyebrows just to pencil others into it, go into a sweaty club knowing full well it's going to melt and run all over. I mean you look like something from a bad metal video. I'm just saying. Burn victims wear less than some folks.
And the shoes. Now if you going to be hoochie and wear some hooker shoes, at least number 1, learn how to walk in them. Nothing says klutz than trying to walk in shoes that you can't walk in trying to be cute. Because the minute you fall, is the minute I am going to fall down laughing. I have done it before and I sure will do it again. And also, try to get something comfortable. I mean why you going to wear something that's looks like it's going to hurt your bunions over there. I seen many a lady walking like penguins trying to impress the guys and girls there. Only thing that is impressive is that the shoes didn't break because some of those feet were torturing those shoes, begging for release or salvation from the oppressors of the toes.
And the guys there, some days I am almost ashamed of my gender. It just amazes me to see how some guys just approach up and throw the most outlandish lines. Gotta hand it to some of them, it seemed to work but others...it's a true Epic Fail if there ever was one. And most was falling for the lines, smiling and giggling. I hope for their sake it was one of those fake laughs. But it seemed to get them to the dance floor.
Dance floor...this brings me to my WTF! moment of the night. My people, answer this question. Eight grown ass men on the dance floor dancing, probably drunk off patron and henny - or smoking the herbage of 420, and not a single woman between them. Not til at least 5 minutes later when one comes and they surround her like sharks on a carcass. I am almost honor bound to confiscate their man card. And if you dressed like a reject from the thug life hotline, you REALLY need to have your man card repoed.
And the biggest funtime of the night. Oh it was a doozy. Around 11:45 or something the wonderful friends from Dallas Police come in like storm troopers along with the city attorneys office. They were checking for licenses and permits and all that good stuff. Even had a cop get some of the food that was there (what food it is.) can't take the police anywhere. No home training at all. But you would think that it was a warrant roundup or something from all the nervous folks that were around. Never seen so many hood rats and roaches bailing out the door.
Well the DJ took a cue from it and played some Al Green...I gotta give the DJ props Al can make anything sound better but even he can't save that night. Bout midnight after a few fines were issued and from what I heard it's alot. Dallas said close the bars, shut it down! So before midnight, the party was over and a few folks wasn't happy about it. Had to drag one guy out in cuffs and all that. I'm like oh snap they bout to do a Rodney King in Dallas...he was trying to get his club on well now he can be clubbing in the club jail.
Taking the cue, we got the hell out and home. It was good to hang with my friends and not so good seeing some folks I could spent the night now. But, the sheer joy of laughing at some folks in how they behaved and wore, good 3 hours to kill. I so tried to throw a picture or 3 but the lights were too bad to grab anything suitable. I would posted them.
But in short, it was an epic fail night in club yugo and after 11:45 you go out the door cause they shutting it down and the moral to the story - make it a blockbuster night. But, I did get a few giggles from the moronity of social interaction and the hooker fashion show. Now I know what's going to popular for the spring. Better start saving. And I for one shall fight the good fight to put some sensibility to a crazy world.
poor guys on the dance floor dancing alone....give me those damn man cards!
SAW
Monday, February 15, 2010
What a fucked up day..
actually it's been a combination of a few days. Starting with Friday. I was thinking that I would have a snow day with work since I had assumed that since the schools were out so would we. The night before I asked my boss what we were doing since things were planned to be closed. Well she wanted to find out if the building was open and I asked for her to call me if it is so I can come in. Well since I didn't hear from her to see the building open. I didn't go in. But found out that office was open even though it was not suppose to. Already a bad start - I could have went in anyway with the skeleton crew that was there. No sense in trying to deal with that I went home and started my weekend...
fast forward to today. I come in, and had a mountain of emails (lucky I didn't have to process them all) but there were a few from the HR manager and my floor supervisor. I replied to the most obvious question why wasn't I there. And I explained it all and things seemed ok.
The fast forward about an hour later and I get a mail from my boss who happens to be the vice president of the company. Well I get this long, drawn out chewing about why I wasn't there and a misunderstanding about why I didn't show up. I explained everything. And she did say that I won't get paid or have my PTO. And I really thought that I was going to lose my job...which I still think I may. Only reason I haven't was cause the one person who could done my job is off for the next two days. And we are having audits and shit going on so I think by that grace alone I may have a job. But that's just fucked in the ass man.
And then the mail I had to sort out and get ready. Almost 1200 letters. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! I had to work through lunch to get it all done. And still only had 10 minutes to spare.
Now I am getting off work and I can't wait til Friday so I don't worry bout my job. Or losing it for that matter. Now I know why Mondays suck ass as they do. And I wanna take this sorry ass band from freecreditreport commercials and beat the holy hell out of them. I mean really if you can't fix your credit doing what you doing, slang some crack. I mean really though.
Anyhoot...I'm calling it a day. I need some sleep and back onto the grind stone tomorrow. Til then...
SAW
fast forward to today. I come in, and had a mountain of emails (lucky I didn't have to process them all) but there were a few from the HR manager and my floor supervisor. I replied to the most obvious question why wasn't I there. And I explained it all and things seemed ok.
The fast forward about an hour later and I get a mail from my boss who happens to be the vice president of the company. Well I get this long, drawn out chewing about why I wasn't there and a misunderstanding about why I didn't show up. I explained everything. And she did say that I won't get paid or have my PTO. And I really thought that I was going to lose my job...which I still think I may. Only reason I haven't was cause the one person who could done my job is off for the next two days. And we are having audits and shit going on so I think by that grace alone I may have a job. But that's just fucked in the ass man.
And then the mail I had to sort out and get ready. Almost 1200 letters. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! I had to work through lunch to get it all done. And still only had 10 minutes to spare.
Now I am getting off work and I can't wait til Friday so I don't worry bout my job. Or losing it for that matter. Now I know why Mondays suck ass as they do. And I wanna take this sorry ass band from freecreditreport commercials and beat the holy hell out of them. I mean really if you can't fix your credit doing what you doing, slang some crack. I mean really though.
Anyhoot...I'm calling it a day. I need some sleep and back onto the grind stone tomorrow. Til then...
SAW
Saturday, February 6, 2010
So close...
to the most evil of all days. The one day out of the year where relationships and love has a price tag. I am in the process of doing everything I can to boycott it. Hell I wish the President or Congress will just disallow this day from happening. I mean really. Who benefits from this demonic day. Florists, candy makers, and jewelers. Oh yeah that card company for folks who are too damn cheap to get the previously mentioned. But rest assured, I shall have something: cynical, cold, and callous to describe this day. I promise you that. Fuck that damn damn damn (Like Florida) day!
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