Just for some reason, I wish I can say why, I just have not been in any type of holiday spirit. I just have been here thinking, I wish this time of year can be over and get back to normal. Then again, just as Christmas ends, it switches towards the evilest of holidays - Valentine's Day. UUUUUGH!
But, I don't know why I just been caught in the holiday blues. I figured helping others, or just forcing myself to be a bit cheerful would get me out of this rut. However, it just made it a bit worse. I mostly keep allot of this to myself and wear a fake smile for others. It's a good thing I do hiding my true feelings. I don't need to ruin others happy times because of my crappy one. But I will just keep up with the happy face. Seeing so many others having such happy joy in their hearts. Doing whatever they do to celebrate good mirth, love, family, food, whatever makes one tick and been jolly. Me on the other hand, I just to a point, I honestly do not care.
Call it the holiday blues, season depression. I don't know. It can be anything thing. But, truth is that my heart is just not in it. To be honest, it hasn't been this way for a long time. Yet, we do what we must endure for the sake of others. Why let your pain affect others right?
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
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