Sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is put on a smile of happiness for others in our lives. Whether it's for a monumental achievement or some personal, positive outcome of something. However, how difficult is it to smile for the world when inside there is such a conflict in ourselves? How hard can it be to really be happy for others when we ourselves are not happy. Surly, we can put on a false face and show support for our friends and loved ones. It's the simplest thing we can do, but where is the sincerity? The genuine, heartfelt joys that are returned for the good cheer and news others are willing to share with us?
As humans, we have an inert ability to constantly evaluate our own success and happiness based on others. It is unwitting bar that everyone puts to weigh our own merits for our own personal satisfaction. It is as essential as breathing, yet something that no matter how much we tend to ignore, it lingers like a bad cold sore.
Is it that most people tend to show and share success as a subconscious form of gloating? Something that we don't even notice or acknowledge? Or can it be that it's a deliberate prodding of their joys like a sinister trophy to put themselves on a pedestal of good mirth and make others feel unhappy. Who knows.
However, what about those who are not feeling so happy and proud? It is easy to share a smile and say I am happy and glad for them? Especially when there is no good joys or cheers in our own lives. How hard is it to be happy for others when in our own core being we are not happy within ourselves? Pretend - fake - down right force ourselves to give ourselves a bit of joy. A false complement and share a joy and things get better.
In short how does this wake others feel. Can we make others happy for good news when they in turn make ourselves feel low. Suck up our pride and push on? Sometimes it's easier said than done. So we just suck up our hurts of our own lives and pretend. Share a smile but in ourselves shed a tear.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Sometimes you must ask yourself...
are you FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I ask myself that in how some people can just have a notion of asking for so many things or begging to have such attention bestowed upon them or win some sort of contest to up some status. I sometimes have to look and laugh at so many people. As much as I (in my own sadistic, evil way, enjoy a good bit of begging), even I have to ask myself are you that hard up and desperate to have ever twenty minutes asking for some sort of social gratification and expansion. I kind of have to laugh and think if you can do it maybe once a day or something, that is fine and good. But if you do it with every waking moment, do you honestly think that you will get what you asking for. I was always raised to believe that begging constantly gets you anything and if you do somewhat receive it, do you really, truly appreciate it that you earned it on your own merits or was it the result of nagging like a drug-induced billy goat.Naaaaaaaaaag! Sometimes I wonder do most people do it just to have some individuals shut the hell up! Maybe that is it.
However, it just behooves me to think that some people have to drop to such methods. And when some people fall into that web, do those individuals show any gratitude? Any amount of sincere thanks for accommodating to their request? Hell no! And if they do it is soooooo generalized and so insincere that it makes some people go do nothing of the sort again or make sure someone else wins or receives your support just out of spite. Believe me, as a villain, I have do that on more than one occasion. Most of the time, I just sit and watch and see how many people fall below the waves of disappointment and find a small sense of humility. However, that is almost like trying to find a fart in a jacuzzi.
I know this will probably piss off plenty of folks but those who do understand me and can relate, they will probably agree with me and even call some folks out about it. But, they will probably get labeled: Hater or Jealous. However, to be a hater is to be envious of what they have, are or being. Does anyone really WANT to be a whiney butt beggar who has to bribe folks with empty promises and false gratitude?
But pleeeease....I'm begging you pleeeeeeeeeeeease....oh hell let me stop. I have a bit more pride than that. I'm going to leave that for the folks who need it.Or James Brown who can sang it better.
I wonder how many folks will be ready to cuss me out on this one....
SAW
However, it just behooves me to think that some people have to drop to such methods. And when some people fall into that web, do those individuals show any gratitude? Any amount of sincere thanks for accommodating to their request? Hell no! And if they do it is soooooo generalized and so insincere that it makes some people go do nothing of the sort again or make sure someone else wins or receives your support just out of spite. Believe me, as a villain, I have do that on more than one occasion. Most of the time, I just sit and watch and see how many people fall below the waves of disappointment and find a small sense of humility. However, that is almost like trying to find a fart in a jacuzzi.
I know this will probably piss off plenty of folks but those who do understand me and can relate, they will probably agree with me and even call some folks out about it. But, they will probably get labeled: Hater or Jealous. However, to be a hater is to be envious of what they have, are or being. Does anyone really WANT to be a whiney butt beggar who has to bribe folks with empty promises and false gratitude?
But pleeeease....I'm begging you pleeeeeeeeeeeease....oh hell let me stop. I have a bit more pride than that. I'm going to leave that for the folks who need it.Or James Brown who can sang it better.
I wonder how many folks will be ready to cuss me out on this one....
SAW
Friday, December 3, 2010
Insincere Gratidude Is Worse The No Gratitude..
sometime I find it so discouraging and disappointing in how some humans (and I use the term in the broadest of sense) can be so damned ungrateful when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for them, out of the kindest of your heart. And then how is that gesture returned. With an empty thank you and false appreciation like yeah ok whatever.
Nothing pisses me off more than ungrateful people...especially when some people do try to bring a smile to your face with the smallest gestures. As if you are due some sense of entitlement like you should be showered with all that is due to you simply because you grace the planet with your mere presence. Well I hate to be such a barer of bad news but...YOU ARE NOT REALLY ALL THAT! And sadly so many people blow up so many egos now of days with such brain-numbing BS, that some people believe that they are the best thing since ketchup.
Now, I'm all for having confidence and stuff. But, when you have to throw an ego that spills from your head and pollute this planet, not good. And more so, that does not give you some sense of feeling shower me with praise, gifts and I'll give you the honor of being in front of me for your own awe. PLEASE!
But, however worse that is I think acting as if you are forced to have some humility and appreciation of things is as bad. Ok if you can fake it enough just to make someone smile that's fine. Just remember, you don't have to have anything nice done for you but then again, most people will just go beg or something and someone will be brainless enough to do it. And people wonder why don't people just do nice things for others. Cause many are so damn unappreciative. Fake if if you must, don't like it smile and say thanks and try to at least PRETEND....most of you all are good at faking things anyway. How hard is it?
And people wonder why niceness is a dying breed.....
Nothing pisses me off more than ungrateful people...especially when some people do try to bring a smile to your face with the smallest gestures. As if you are due some sense of entitlement like you should be showered with all that is due to you simply because you grace the planet with your mere presence. Well I hate to be such a barer of bad news but...YOU ARE NOT REALLY ALL THAT! And sadly so many people blow up so many egos now of days with such brain-numbing BS, that some people believe that they are the best thing since ketchup.
Now, I'm all for having confidence and stuff. But, when you have to throw an ego that spills from your head and pollute this planet, not good. And more so, that does not give you some sense of feeling shower me with praise, gifts and I'll give you the honor of being in front of me for your own awe. PLEASE!
But, however worse that is I think acting as if you are forced to have some humility and appreciation of things is as bad. Ok if you can fake it enough just to make someone smile that's fine. Just remember, you don't have to have anything nice done for you but then again, most people will just go beg or something and someone will be brainless enough to do it. And people wonder why don't people just do nice things for others. Cause many are so damn unappreciative. Fake if if you must, don't like it smile and say thanks and try to at least PRETEND....most of you all are good at faking things anyway. How hard is it?
And people wonder why niceness is a dying breed.....
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friends Forever...Oh It's Forever...It's Over....
“You cannot say you’ve lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed.”
It was really until recently that such a quote had such a strong meaning to me. Like many things in this roller coaster called life; things grow, develop, bloom, wither and sadly die. I think friendships are the same thing. So many people hear the two words of such endurance among people - "Friends Forever", but I think even now days, friendships have a definite shelf life. Now mind you it can be become of a falling out or a fight that can cause it or something more tragic that ends it. Those sometimes can't be helped and sadly it does happen. However, what happens when one reaches out with a hand just to have it completely ignored? When you try to rekindle just something you missed in another person? To play catch up and just share that goings on over the last few weeks, months or sadly years? How can one justify being put away on a shelf to be ignored when there were times when one friend's words were the difference in so many things or comfort. What happens when a friendship of pure sentiment becomes a friendship of pure convenience only to just fade away like a sunset? Does that make the whole experience meaningless?
And what is mostly the cause of such things? Most can be the distance related. But that is a poor excuse at best. Distance between two, true friends is never far if you put the slightest effort into it. Emails, phone calls and even the old school pen and paper still works fine. However, that isn't the worst and possibly the most unforgivable violation of some friendship rules is the denial of a friend based on inclusion of others into ones intimate circle. Mostly relationships that can become serious or potential of seriousness; and instead of expanding the circle and having others share in experiences or whatnot, most contract and shrink them. Sadly, I have seen it personally in my own life and witnessed it in many others - so the fundamentally question to such thing is why? There can be almost an infinite number of reasons, while some can be remotely legitimate, others are just weak excuses for people who in the long run do not seem to care. Mostly, because most have significant others who are so paranoid in their own fears, insecure in having people who many known you longer, more intimately, or understand you better than yourself that those scared people feel that you can be easily influenced. That in itself is an insult to their own intelligence. Or perhaps, sadly there can be the sense of validity to it. Either way, it does become sad. Significant other says oh you can't be friends with this person or this person because of my own fears and insecurities. Oh you can't talk to this whole gender because I am afraid of infidelity. Are you KIDDING me? Have we become so paranoid that any and everything becomes a sign of distrust.
More so, the saddest thing about all this is not being the adult in saying that you don't feel comfortable maintaining any sort of friendship that you will just cut off all ties and sever everything you may spent months or years establishing only to let it fall because of ones fears or whatever. And what happens if by some happenstance the house of the relationship crumbles into pieces? Who will you turn to? Who could you find some sort of solace? Well there is always those select few who you received some unspoken permission to remain in contact with. But, what about those that stood by you in the hardest of times that you put away like a used book?
Then all those bridges you burned, do you feel that anyone would welcome you back with open arms after you turn your back, then get mad or upset because your feelings were injured? Ask yourself that question when you put your selfishness ahead of others. And yet, most want to assume that nothing had changed during the hiatus. Don't know which is more insulting: Pretending nothing ever happened and it's business as usual, or that they feel they can waltz back in with a hug (only to pull the dagger out of the back) and a good word.
In the end, did the whole thing matter? I guess it depends on the perspective. And at what cost? Well for what it's worth, it makes many weary to build anything. Well you can have the 30 pieces of silver and the kiss for your effort. But, you must ask yourself is it worth it. Sadly, many would say yes and the consequences for that choice maybe too harsh to consider. But, if your friendship never mattered then who would care...right?
SAW
It was really until recently that such a quote had such a strong meaning to me. Like many things in this roller coaster called life; things grow, develop, bloom, wither and sadly die. I think friendships are the same thing. So many people hear the two words of such endurance among people - "Friends Forever", but I think even now days, friendships have a definite shelf life. Now mind you it can be become of a falling out or a fight that can cause it or something more tragic that ends it. Those sometimes can't be helped and sadly it does happen. However, what happens when one reaches out with a hand just to have it completely ignored? When you try to rekindle just something you missed in another person? To play catch up and just share that goings on over the last few weeks, months or sadly years? How can one justify being put away on a shelf to be ignored when there were times when one friend's words were the difference in so many things or comfort. What happens when a friendship of pure sentiment becomes a friendship of pure convenience only to just fade away like a sunset? Does that make the whole experience meaningless?
And what is mostly the cause of such things? Most can be the distance related. But that is a poor excuse at best. Distance between two, true friends is never far if you put the slightest effort into it. Emails, phone calls and even the old school pen and paper still works fine. However, that isn't the worst and possibly the most unforgivable violation of some friendship rules is the denial of a friend based on inclusion of others into ones intimate circle. Mostly relationships that can become serious or potential of seriousness; and instead of expanding the circle and having others share in experiences or whatnot, most contract and shrink them. Sadly, I have seen it personally in my own life and witnessed it in many others - so the fundamentally question to such thing is why? There can be almost an infinite number of reasons, while some can be remotely legitimate, others are just weak excuses for people who in the long run do not seem to care. Mostly, because most have significant others who are so paranoid in their own fears, insecure in having people who many known you longer, more intimately, or understand you better than yourself that those scared people feel that you can be easily influenced. That in itself is an insult to their own intelligence. Or perhaps, sadly there can be the sense of validity to it. Either way, it does become sad. Significant other says oh you can't be friends with this person or this person because of my own fears and insecurities. Oh you can't talk to this whole gender because I am afraid of infidelity. Are you KIDDING me? Have we become so paranoid that any and everything becomes a sign of distrust.
More so, the saddest thing about all this is not being the adult in saying that you don't feel comfortable maintaining any sort of friendship that you will just cut off all ties and sever everything you may spent months or years establishing only to let it fall because of ones fears or whatever. And what happens if by some happenstance the house of the relationship crumbles into pieces? Who will you turn to? Who could you find some sort of solace? Well there is always those select few who you received some unspoken permission to remain in contact with. But, what about those that stood by you in the hardest of times that you put away like a used book?
Then all those bridges you burned, do you feel that anyone would welcome you back with open arms after you turn your back, then get mad or upset because your feelings were injured? Ask yourself that question when you put your selfishness ahead of others. And yet, most want to assume that nothing had changed during the hiatus. Don't know which is more insulting: Pretending nothing ever happened and it's business as usual, or that they feel they can waltz back in with a hug (only to pull the dagger out of the back) and a good word.
In the end, did the whole thing matter? I guess it depends on the perspective. And at what cost? Well for what it's worth, it makes many weary to build anything. Well you can have the 30 pieces of silver and the kiss for your effort. But, you must ask yourself is it worth it. Sadly, many would say yes and the consequences for that choice maybe too harsh to consider. But, if your friendship never mattered then who would care...right?
SAW
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Philosophy of Myself
We as humans have this standard believe, a personal set of ideals of who we are. These ideals change almost daily and can be influenced by many things: social, economic, religious and yes even sexual. (I'll give you a second to absorb that.) However, there is a few set of things we all possess that is set, the basis of our own identity. While some are simple in nature and concept, there other that are complex and vast. I never told anyone about my own personal thoughts and beliefs. Don't be too shocked at it.
1. Happy endings are for the foolishly over-romantic.
I always go for the ending where the hero rides off into the sunset with the woman or gets that one kiss under the gazebo in the rain. I never believed that it is suppose to happen all the time. There going to be some tragedy. Besides if there is a happy ending for one, there usually an endless line of sad ones for others.
2. I always cheer for the bad guy in movies.
Call me the underdog, the cheer of the villain (cause I am one) and all but, even the bag guys needs something to look forward to. I mean the hero always gets the girl, saves the world. But what do we get? Well besides the awesome lines. Hannibal Lecter, Darth Vader, Tony Montana, Stewie Griffin...they all got the best, memorable lines. Even if they didn't save the day. Well except for Vader, but he a special case. I cheer when they blow up shit. Call me evil; you welcome.
3. I'm a realist by birth, cynic by nature.
I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I look at it as someone been drinking out my damn glass and pass me the bottle of Jager. I never been one who is optimistic or pessimistic. There are qualities in each, but I'm a person who just sees it as real. I'm one who believes sometimes hope is the road that leads to disappointment. But, sometimes hope is all we have to make it by. Sometimes it's a study in contradiction, but never said that cynics are the most logical.
Well there shall be more about me later. Now...I need to do some other stuff. What...I don't know. Til then....
1. Happy endings are for the foolishly over-romantic.
I always go for the ending where the hero rides off into the sunset with the woman or gets that one kiss under the gazebo in the rain. I never believed that it is suppose to happen all the time. There going to be some tragedy. Besides if there is a happy ending for one, there usually an endless line of sad ones for others.
2. I always cheer for the bad guy in movies.
Call me the underdog, the cheer of the villain (cause I am one) and all but, even the bag guys needs something to look forward to. I mean the hero always gets the girl, saves the world. But what do we get? Well besides the awesome lines. Hannibal Lecter, Darth Vader, Tony Montana, Stewie Griffin...they all got the best, memorable lines. Even if they didn't save the day. Well except for Vader, but he a special case. I cheer when they blow up shit. Call me evil; you welcome.
3. I'm a realist by birth, cynic by nature.
I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I look at it as someone been drinking out my damn glass and pass me the bottle of Jager. I never been one who is optimistic or pessimistic. There are qualities in each, but I'm a person who just sees it as real. I'm one who believes sometimes hope is the road that leads to disappointment. But, sometimes hope is all we have to make it by. Sometimes it's a study in contradiction, but never said that cynics are the most logical.
Well there shall be more about me later. Now...I need to do some other stuff. What...I don't know. Til then....
Monday, October 25, 2010
what is in a name...
When I decided to make this blog, I had to think about what I wanted to call it. Throughout the years of blog making, and it has been a few blogs I have written and created, I had each one describe an aspect or subject matter that is close to me. However, this one is more personal then the rest. Only because I learned that sometimes to stand against the waves of the world alone is always better to ride the tides of conformity.
My views and opinions, not matter how mundane they are usually sparks more anger than sometimes necessary; however, it is because many are so sensitive to world views, or blinded to the most simple of truths and have what I call the ostrich syndrome. Live your days with your head in the ground and so oblivious to everything. Which is in itself sad to say the least.
I figured that creating this "Stand against the waves" that I have a place where I can draw the line in the sand. I always been a person who was never the leader, nor was one who just followed others blindly. I was always the loner. Never leading anyone to the fates I was going to or the glories others didn't need to go. Call it selfish maybe - but it's more of a public service than anything. None needs to go where I walk. You may dirty your shoes which is an understatement. But, moreso, just don't think anyone is capable to relate or understand my mindset. So it's best that I do stand against all. Besides, one in a world of billions, your worlds will not be remembered and you in the end will not be missed. Just a thought.
SAW
My views and opinions, not matter how mundane they are usually sparks more anger than sometimes necessary; however, it is because many are so sensitive to world views, or blinded to the most simple of truths and have what I call the ostrich syndrome. Live your days with your head in the ground and so oblivious to everything. Which is in itself sad to say the least.
I figured that creating this "Stand against the waves" that I have a place where I can draw the line in the sand. I always been a person who was never the leader, nor was one who just followed others blindly. I was always the loner. Never leading anyone to the fates I was going to or the glories others didn't need to go. Call it selfish maybe - but it's more of a public service than anything. None needs to go where I walk. You may dirty your shoes which is an understatement. But, moreso, just don't think anyone is capable to relate or understand my mindset. So it's best that I do stand against all. Besides, one in a world of billions, your worlds will not be remembered and you in the end will not be missed. Just a thought.
SAW
Saturday, October 16, 2010
How funny some people can be...
I just had to share this little semi-adventure with my people. If most follow my facebook (and if you don't shame on you!) I left something about some teenagers who were just in a nice car (probably one's parent) playing some Lil Jon (good taste for them anyway) those folks probably probably juniors or seniors in some prep school yelling out "Where your hood at, where you hood at?" I had to snicker and laugh as I passed by. And one had to go out and ask me where my hood at? I just stopped and I asked where theirs at and they replied and I just snickered and kept walking. Listen to all you preppies trying to find your hoodness and street cred: rule #1 If you live in a gated community and an on-site golf course, you are not hood and never will be! rule #2 If the police can be at your area in less than 5 minutes to get a cat out the tree, you are not hood.
I had to go and think for a second, what would happen if those fools really went to a real hood and get some real hoodness. Let's take them to some of the tough places:
Orange Mound in Memphis - they wouldn't last 5 minutes; car gets jacked money get stole girlfriends get hoed out.
7th Ward New Orleans - Not even going to say it. They get the hell beat out of them and throw in some swamp never to be seen again and them they go get some gumbo with the money they snatched from the poor saps.
Highland Hills (Dallas Texas) - My homie Jason can attest to this. If you got a hood so rough that the public bus system will stop 2 streets and turn around and say if you going down this area you walking, what you think 3 prep boys driving a Benz will get as a reception. A few chop-shops will be getting new parts. And a 4th grader there will snatch the Benz emblem and make a neck piece out of it.
Pick a place in Houston. 3rd Ward (shout out to my Cartel fam at TSU I miss ya fools) 5th Ward, A-leaf, South Park - really do they wanna go there and shout out what's your hood? When you see kids on big wheels with spinners you in the hood. You getting jumped near Yates High School by a few toddlers and they going to French's Chicken for a free meal - courtesy of you.
and let's not talk bout chicken. Let them come to Morton. yes even here they will get bumrushed. Don't let the chicken plan fool you those chickens go hard. When you go a school with razor wire. This is hood! Welcome to Kingland baby this is how it's done. Da Bottom folks will just rob you in broad daylight and laugh. Really now golf course folks gets throw into the chicken trucks...
Now really what's my hood? I am my hood...now gimme your allowance and car. I'm heading down I-45 to H-town for some French's Chicken. I can drop those folks at Pleasant Grove and let them yell out I'm hood in Da Grove...that be funny.
SAW
I had to go and think for a second, what would happen if those fools really went to a real hood and get some real hoodness. Let's take them to some of the tough places:
Orange Mound in Memphis - they wouldn't last 5 minutes; car gets jacked money get stole girlfriends get hoed out.
7th Ward New Orleans - Not even going to say it. They get the hell beat out of them and throw in some swamp never to be seen again and them they go get some gumbo with the money they snatched from the poor saps.
Highland Hills (Dallas Texas) - My homie Jason can attest to this. If you got a hood so rough that the public bus system will stop 2 streets and turn around and say if you going down this area you walking, what you think 3 prep boys driving a Benz will get as a reception. A few chop-shops will be getting new parts. And a 4th grader there will snatch the Benz emblem and make a neck piece out of it.
Pick a place in Houston. 3rd Ward (shout out to my Cartel fam at TSU I miss ya fools) 5th Ward, A-leaf, South Park - really do they wanna go there and shout out what's your hood? When you see kids on big wheels with spinners you in the hood. You getting jumped near Yates High School by a few toddlers and they going to French's Chicken for a free meal - courtesy of you.
and let's not talk bout chicken. Let them come to Morton. yes even here they will get bumrushed. Don't let the chicken plan fool you those chickens go hard. When you go a school with razor wire. This is hood! Welcome to Kingland baby this is how it's done. Da Bottom folks will just rob you in broad daylight and laugh. Really now golf course folks gets throw into the chicken trucks...
Now really what's my hood? I am my hood...now gimme your allowance and car. I'm heading down I-45 to H-town for some French's Chicken. I can drop those folks at Pleasant Grove and let them yell out I'm hood in Da Grove...that be funny.
SAW
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