When enlightenment strikes.

It is said that when enlightenment is obtained, you feel a universal sense of feeling and oneness with yourself and the universe. But, I kind of wonder is there a sense of a twisted darkside to it. There is always an yin and yang. The polar components of balance. What if the revelations that one obtains is one that can no doubt redefines the core being of a person.

I kind of feel that way as of late. Reaching an enlightenment and understanding that after a long time of contemplation and honestly a few conversations that the truth - the undebateable truth slaps you in the face like a mad girlfriend who didn't get that ring for Christmas. Seeing it you just feel you can have a sense of saying "Yes! I was right. The whole time I was correct." Yet, the sense of self-gloating has no mirth in it.

I will not go into this pyric victory of myself against the world. (Me 4 world 3 in overtime.) I will not speak of it. But those who know - know and that's that.

I always believed the powers of the universe have a sick sense of humor and a degrading sense of irony. The saying "Be careful what you wish for, for you just might get it." Does not apply to the secret desires of our hearts. For there is no lesson in things like that. There is no comsic morality tale in what we really want for a sense of happiness. Yet, the asking of the most selfish want, there is a billion and two acceptances of it and granting of the wish. Because, it will always be something negative attached to it. I think the proverb should say, "Be careful for the things you wish you want and never expect thing you need for you never will get it."

So with that said, why does it feel an empty victory when you proven some truths that you spent so long fighting, finally get the vindication - yet feels worthless. Was the fight so draining that you just have no sense of accomplishment? One always hear the greater the strugger the more significant and sweeter the victory. Feels a bit salty. And looking at it - I feel worse than ever. The truth has finally be told - the veil has been lifted and light is now drawn. It should be a bright day - and potential for great possibility. Yet there isn't.

If this is what enlightenment of understand is, I think there is bliss in ignorance.